Free Stripped Senseless by Yvonne Leishman Page B

elephant!  
                  I run my hands over her body. I
exude self-confidence but inside I am trying to hold back the rise of vomit I
can feel bubbling within my stomach, like a bubbling cauldron.  
                  “Great Lady I can see from running
my hands all over your little body you have nothing
that will prick me.”   God I inwardly
cringe at the words.
                  “ Ooooo but have you officer? I would love for you to prick me with something….Hard.”   She says enthusiastically.   Christ no, no, no. My cock has shrivelled all
way back into its skin, even my cock shouts, back your fucking truck up there
lady!!
                  I smile at her nervously, and I
almost never get nervous at anything.   This woman had better not pounce at me, I may just cry if she does.   She smells like a fucking tramp, her self-
hygiene leaves a lot to be desired, I pity the poor old sap that will be her
first.   Going down on her would be like
giving oral to the oldest trash can full of old rotten fish that even the stray
cats won’t touch.  
                  The lads and I start our stripping
action, I try to put my all into it but truth be told all I can think of is the
night I spotted Tania in that outrageous group of hens.   These ladies are total polar opposites to the
gorgeous ladies of that night.   The women
here tonight are a walking, talking advertisement for birth control, no man would surely tap them unless they were blindly drunk or high.  
                  I am now down to my tighty whities
and the woman in front of me looks like she may expire.   I usually make the effort to get to know a
little about the lady I am stripping for but I have absolutely no desire to
know this woman.  
                  I glance around the bar, if you
can even call it that.   The punters are
all either middle aged or plain old.   I
will never ever step into the spotted dick ever again. The name of the bar, the spotted dick sounds like some
sexually transmitted disease.   The
atmosphere in the bar is also fucking dead, you would
actually think that we were stripping at a wake.   This is the weirdest stripping gig we have
ever had, even stranger than the time we were paid to strip for a bunch of
retired prostitutes who had some unique stories….
                  I hand over the baby oil to ugly, seriously she has some hygiene and self-care
issues.   She has a definitive uni-brow
and facial hair that would rival the damn yeti!   She flashes me, what I no doubt suspect she thinks is a seductive smile
and it is then that her fate is totally sealed. Instead of the pearly whites I
get from Tania this “woman” and I use that term very loosely, has braces and
teeth that are yellow and discoloured as if she smokes a thousand cigarettes a
day.  
                  She squirts some baby oil into the
palms of her hands and rubs them rapidly, whilst never taking her eyes from my
body.   I usually find that incredibly
sexy but not from the yeti.   I want this
night to be over already.   She rubs the
oil all over my torso whilst she takes in my tattoos.
                    Yeah in your dreams sweet cheeks.  
                  When all the
ladies are done having their fun with us, we put our cop uniforms back on. I
need to get out of the spotted dick as soon as possible, and seriously this
could totally be the name of a very dodgy porn movie.  
                  Just as the guys and I are ready
to run for hell out of this bar and away from the women that totally remind me
of a zombie apocalypse, one of them shouts us over.  
                  “I’ll go over, least that way we
are not giving them an excuse to keep us here. Just you guys head out to the
car.” I am convinced this will work. I really do not want to be in these ladies
company a moment longer.   I head over