Free Glimmer by Stacey Wallace Benefiel, Valerie Wallace Page A

I saw him content, breathing slow and steady, as the image crumbled and fell away...
     
    He was dreaming a slanted version of a day at the Lake we’d actually had in early September.  Avery and dream me were swimming side by side toward the floating dock thirty feet out from the shore. I was relieved that I was wearing my navy blue one piece and he hadn’t put me in some cheesy hot pink string bikini. The weather was the same as it had been then, hot, dry, and dusty.  The kind of day where your body begs to swim.  However, in reality, the water in the Lake was freezing cold all year round and only the really brave ever swim to the dock. Most everyone just runs into the water, takes a quick dunk to cool off, and then runs directly back to their towel to warm up again.  Avery had wanted to attempt the swim that day, but I’d talked him out of it.  In his dreams, though, it seems I’d given in and I was glad I did.
    Every few yards, Avery would stop and kiss dream me, pull her close to him, holding them both up while he treaded water, then he’d release her and they’d continue swimming.  This happened several times on their way to the dock, until they were nearly there. I longed to feel the cool water caressing my body, his soft mouth on mine. I could...almost.  Then, he was swimming ahead of her, pushing himself up out of the water onto the dock.  As I watched him turn and look down at the dream me in the water, extending his hand to help her, I was able to see the way he saw me. Outside of the dream it took my breath away, making my hollow insides ache for him.
    But her, the silly girl in the water, she just giggled and grabbed hold of his hand. Avery took her in his arms, whispering, “I love you,” in her ear.  And the dumb butt didn’t say it back!  I started to get really pissed at myself, at dream me, squandering all of her Avery time that I couldn’t have.  Why wasn’t she telling him she loved him too, maybe more than he loved her? Because I do!  I wanted to shout, but he couldn’t hear me.
    She smiled at him, moving her hands from around his neck, sliding her palms down his wet chest, hooking her fingers into the waistband of his swim trunks, pushing them off over his hips...
     
    Oh, my God!  I opened my eyes and flipped onto my back.  Avery’s dream me was a total whore. No wonder he hadn’t been as nervous as I’d been in the truck.  Apparently, he was confident that I was going to be good at the whole sex thing if he’d thought about it enough for it to creep into his subconscious.  I took a deep breath, trying to clear the shock from my body.  Well, at least I had the beginning of a new scenario to fantasize about, to make things go how the less selfish and whore-y me would have them go.  I covered my eyes with my hands, blushing at how ludicrous my life could be sometimes. Then I contemplated checking up on Avery’s dream world for just a little bit longer.
     

     
    Aunt Hazel came by the house at 10:30 to drive me to the Adams’ cabin for my meet up with Ben. She insisted it wasn’t a big pain in the butt to drive down from the lodge to get me and then drive me halfway back up the mountain to the cabin, that it was the kind of thing a Lookout was expected to do.  Ah, Aunt Hazel’s brand of familial love, it warmed the cockles of my heart.  Dad and Melody had left at 7:45, him to work and her to school.  With both Aunt Hazel and Frank around, Dad had insisted that Melody be relieved of her Lookout duties until the weekend.  Whatever. It wasn’t like there was anything for her to do anyway.
    I was in a super craptastic mood, having gotten about two hours of sleep, and now had nothing to look forward to besides being stuck in the cabin all day with Mom, who I was still pissed off at, Ben, and two kooky old Lookouts.  So, when Ben suggested we take a walk over to the stream at the edge of the Adams’ property, I nearly cracked a smile.
    “Tough night?” he asked,