Free This Book is Full of Spiders by David Wong Page A

doctor and walked out with the girl. The lady hadn’t been there for treatment. She was just giving her daughter a ride.
    *   *   *
    Right off, Dr. Tennet asked, “What happened to your eye?”
    “Got in a fight with John. He said counseling was a waste of time and I told him I’d be damned if I’d hear him insult you and your profession.”
    “You look like you haven’t slept.”
    “How can I, with what’s going on? Have you been watching the news today? Do you know if they found Franky?”
    “He wasn’t expected to live, was he? Did you know him?”
    “What? No. Why would I have known him?”
    “You called him Franky.”
    “Well I went to high school with him. But that was years ago. I didn’t have anything to do with what happened if that’s what you mean.”
    “Not at all.”
    “Because I didn’t.”
    “I’m sorry if I made you feel accused.”
    I glanced out the window at the exact moment a green truck rumbled by on the street outside.
    “Why are there so many army trucks? This all seems like an overreaction, don’t you think?”
    Not letting me change the subject, Tennet said, “I would like to come back to what you talked about last time, about having to hide your true self from the world, and feeling like you are powerless to become the type of person who would not have to hide. Just now, you seemed to feel I was accusing you. I’d like to talk about that if we can.”
    I stared out the window and chewed a fingernail. Man, I did not want to be here. In this office, in this town, in this life. I wanted to just walk out. I knew at some point the cops were going to scoop up John—he’d appeared on goddamned television right in the area they were trying to quarantine—and that meant eventually they’d come get me, too. What the hell was I doing here?
    Because you have nowhere else to go.
    I said, “I don’t know. Twenty-four hours ago I’m sitting here trying to justify believing crazy things, and one day later the whole town has gone crazy. So, in my mind the rest of the world has now caught up to my craziness which means I should be set free.” I rubbed my itchy eyes and said, “There are real monsters, doc. I’m too tired today to say anything else.”
    He said, “I read some of the things you and your friend posted on the Internet. Sometimes you speak of yourself as if you are a freak, or a monster.”
    “Well, metaphorically. I mean, aren’t we all? The woman in the waiting room just now basically told me the same thing.”
    “An incident like last night always brings out those kind of feelings, I suppose.”
    I considered for a moment, then said, “Can I ask you a question, doc?”
    “Of course.”
    “What would you say if I asked to use your computer there, on your desk? Right now, without you having a chance to delete anything.”
    “Of course, there is confidential patient information that I couldn’t—”
    “Let’s say I could promise I wouldn’t look at any of that. In fact, let’s say I just want to look at your Internet browser history. How would you feel about that?”
    “It would be an invasion of privacy, of course. And I have credit cards and logins—”
    “I’m talking about the porn, doc. Would I find nasty schoolgirl porn on there? Maybe interracial stuff? Incest fantasies?”
    “I feel like you’re trying to get a reaction from me. If you’re not feeling like going through with the session we can continue on Monday—”
    “No, listen. When I’m with Amy and I ask to borrow her computer, she passes it right over. No questions asked, no hesitation. She could sit there and look over my shoulder and watch me sift through every single file, and she wouldn’t flinch. She has nothing to hide. It’d be the same if I had a machine that could peer into her mind—she’d be fine with it. She’s comfortable with what she is. But, on the other hand, if she’s visiting and she asks to use my laptop? Man, there is so much depraved shit on there