Free All For Anna by Nicole Deese Page A

gave me pause. As tempting and
appealing as working overtime was, the flip-side to her compromise was
downright bone chilling. The idea of more therapy was like looking into an
abyss, strapped into a harness, and being told to jump. Sure, the harness
provided some sense of security, but without knowing the depth of the free
fall, what good was a harness at all?
    What if I lose what
little control I have left?
    I may live in a prison
now, but at least I know my way around it.
    I knew I needed time to
make this decision, but for the next twelve hours thoughts on PTSD and therapy
compromises would have to be placed on hold. Nursing did not mix well with
mental and emotional distractions. I tucked the thoughts away and hurried down
to the locker room to change into my scrubs.
    My stomach was suddenly
aflutter as I pushed opened the door and rounded the corner to my locker.
There, taped to the dull metal locker of #44, was a folded note. My name was
written on the front.
    I pulled it off slowly.
     
    Tori-
    I realized I never gave you my number, must
have been too caught up in “playing doctor”. I’ll get yours from Stacie later
today and text you to confirm a time for tomorrow. Everything is planned—just
pack a bathing suit and a change of clothes. We’ll have fun!
    PS. Don’t worry, no hot tubs are involved…I
promise.
    555-298-4463
    Kai
     
    Note still in hand, I
slumped down hard on the bench.
    This day is just
chock-full of surprises . What had I gotten myself into?
    And why did the idea of
swimsuits and Kai make my heart race at a hundred beats a minute?
    The idea that he had
been in this very locker room looking for me, caused my anxiety to simmer. But there
was something else mixed in with the anxiety, something that I hadn’t felt in
quite a while: excitement.
    My smile—even though I
couldn’t see it—was ridiculous.
    No, this is ridiculous!
    Deal or no deal, family
friend or not, it was obvious that Kai’s charming ways seemed to get him what
he wanted, but that would change soon enough. Though his gesture was undeniably
flattering, I knew it was misdirected. Stacie was the type of girl who ended up
with a guy like Kai. He needed a girl who would giggle and swoon, one that was
well-mannered and polished. He needed the type of girl that seemed to be
created with some sort of magical “girlfriend pixie dust” that I didn’t
possess.
    There was a nagging voice
somewhere in the back corner of my mind that seemed to disagree with my
judgment. The fact that he had pursued me even after my
less-than-gracious-moment at my parent’s house, and after my drowned rat
exhibit in Stacie’s bathtub, did lend some credit to the opposition. But even
with those truths in mind, I had no choice but to dismiss the notion that my
judgment could be off.
    There was no use
playing a game that would ultimately end in disqualification before it even
began. If he was hoping to get a Stacie Jr ., he would be sorely
mistaken. Our apples may have fallen from the same tree, but they had rolled in
opposite directions.
     
    **********
     
    Meg Holt, the charge
nurse in Emergency, was sitting at the nurses’ station buried in paperwork when
I checked-in for my shift. Though my encounters with Stormy had been
interesting at best, Meg seemed like she enjoyed her job and liked her staff. I
had interviewed with her when I first arrived back in Texas a couple weeks ago.
It had been a fairly short interview compared to my detailed overview with
Human Resources, but I quickly gathered that she was a down-to-earth type of
gal. Though very capable of managing a demanding work environment, she was
absent of the typical stress-case attitude that was usually married to it. When
she told me she was from the Northwest—Oregon, I believe—the dots connected.
    Meg partnered me with
Bev Hatty for the day. Bev was a thirty-something socialite who, in my opinion,
was far too interested in the lives of each and every staff member we passed.
Though she