Free Custody by Manju Kapur Page B

lamp.
    ‘She is young and healthy,’ pleaded the mother.
    ‘She will know the joy of motherhood.’
    ‘A son?’
    ‘One girl.’
    ‘Are you sure?’
    ‘That is what the stars say. There is something I can give you that will help.’
    The mother looked eager.
    ‘A stone. She has to wear a white stone – pearl or moonstone – to counteract the influence of the moon. It has to be two carats, and get the setting such that it touches her skin. It has to be made correctly, only then will it work.’
    ‘Please will you get it made for us?’
    So, no son. Suryakanta’s bloodline was not going to be passed on through her. Besides which, she would be forced to wear an ugly ring, sitting fatly on her finger.
    ‘See, what did I tell you?’ they demanded of each other as they left.
    ‘You lose hope too easily,’ continued the mother. ‘I am doing special pujas to overcome your bad karma. There is a child in your future. Miracles do happen. We will get the stone, then we will see.’
    ‘These people just tell you what you want to hear,’ retorted Ishita. ‘I can’t go on living like this. He doesn’t look at me any more.’
    And what was more important, though she didn’t say it, he doesn’t even touch me any more. In bed all she saw was his back. And last night, he moved into his parents’ bedroom. She felt degraded, a non-person, certainly a non-woman. He was determined there should be nothing left between them.
    She was only twenty-six. She could look for a job, but the meaning of her life came from SK. For three and a half years she had been surrounded by his shy and tender love, she had set down roots in this home, the thought of being expelled from it was heartbreaking.
    Her parents encouraged her to stay. In time sex would wield its magnetic attractions. How long could SK ignore the wife who lived in the same house as him?
    But staying was not easy. The mother began to call her shameless, the sisters refused to talk to her, the father and SK avoided her. She only saw her husband at the dining table – a place to which she now seldom came. Who can eat if they are treated as invisible? She stayed in her room, reading magazines, flicking through TV channels, waiting for it to be late enough so she could take a sleeping pill. And not have the fantasy that Suryakanta would creep into bed, put his arms around her and tell her that he loved her, now and for ever.
    A month of this and it was clear that his love must be completely dead for him to treat her so cruelly.
    She took off the stupid gigantic pearl ring her mother had got for her as she decided she need be humiliated no further.
    If her parents did not want her to kill herself they would have to see reason.
    The parents changed their tactics. Did the family think they could marry and divorce as they pleased? They wanted a cash settlement. With their wealth, 10 lakhs was nothing. They can’t get rid of us so easily, if you come home we can kiss goodbye to everything. What about your future?
    Now besides barrenness his mother accused her of money-grabbing. Did we take a dowry, did we, did we? We were too simple for worldly types such as you.
    You must have known you couldn’t have a child.
    You will never get a paisa from us.
    How long do you think you can go on eating our salt?
    There are ways to deal with shameless women like you.
    In the dark watches of the night Ishita thought they were right, she was shameless. Who stayed where they were not wanted? When she looked in the mirror she saw a plain unloved face, eyes without expression, dull skin, dry lips. She had lost all the weight she had put on since her marriage, her collar bones stuck out, her breasts had shrunk. Even the beggars at the street crossings looked more lively than she. Was this the person holding out for happiness?
    She appealed to the back of the man who now never spoke to her. I can’t go home, I can’t stay here. Just make it possible for our parents to settle, and then I shall get