Free Memoirs of a Muppets Writer: (You mean somebody actually writes that stuff?) by Mr. Joseph A. Bailey Page B

keeps you from writing pieces that are impossible to produce, which is a waste of your time. It also keeps you from writing overly complicated material, which is a waste of everyone else’s time.
    On the other hand, if you understand the technology, you can make it work for you. I once created an act for the Great Gonzo where he recited the seven-times multiplication table while standing up in a hammock and balancing a grand piano on one finger.
    The trick was simplicity itself. We swung a hammock between two posts. Gonzo’s feet were attached to the hammock. A Muppet sized grand piano was attached to Gonzo’s finger. The piano was then hung, at the appropriate height, with clear plastic, invisible wire. Since the whole thing was rigged in front of a curtain, the puppeteer could slip his hand through a slit in the curtain and into Gonzo’s head.
    Alas! Gonzo forgot what seven times nine was and got booed off the stage.

    Chapter 11
    Caroll Spinney
    O f course, the super star, top banana, and good will ambassador of Sesame Street is Big Bird, another great Jim Henson creation. In the world of puppetry, Big Bird is a major milestone. His articulated mouth makes him a legitimate puppet. But he’s the first puppet to be completely mobile. He needs no play board or camera angles to hide his puppeteer. He’s completely self contained.
    That’s not to say he’s easy to operate. The puppeteer’s right arm goes up the neck and his hand goes inside the head. And, like other Muppets, his right thumb controls the jaw. His left hand goes into a sleeve and glove to become Big Bird’s left hand. Of course, the puppet’s right arm is a dummy. But, it is attached to an invisible plastic line that runs up through a loop under the puppet’s chin and down to the other hand. This transfers some movement from the operating left hand to the right, which is usually cheated away from the camera.
    To add to his height, high heeled boots are concealed inside the legs and feet. The puppet builder, Kermit Love (known in Muppet circles as Kermit the Person), had to go to a transvestite boutique to find high heeled boots big enough to fit a man’s foot.
    In the earliest versions of Big Bird’s designs, Jim tried to work it out so the costume would fit backwards, thereby making its knees work backward like a bird’s. That proved impractical. But it’s an insight into Jim Henson’s sense of design.
    Inside the puppet, the puppeteer has to keep his chin almost on his chest so as not to ruin the line of Big Bird’s back. Additionally, he wears a leather chest plate which holds his microphone and a one and a half inch wireless television monitor. The monitor is necessary because the puppeteer can’t really see out of the suit. Instead, he watches himself on the monitor.
    It’s kind of like that old joke, put your shoulder to the wheel, and your nose to the grindstone. Now, try and get something done in that position.
    The man who actually does work in that position and still does an incredible job of acting is Caroll Spinney. For forty years, Caroll has been the voice and personality of the eight foot, two inch canary. Thanks to Caroll’s extraordinary talent, Big Bird sings, dances, roller skates and rides unicycles and motorcycles. He’s been to Japan and China and conducted a symphony orchestra in Sydney, Australia.
    Caroll, himself, is as fascinating as the character he performs. To begin with, he’s a great performer, imagine trying to perform that universally loveable character under his working conditions. But Caroll is also a fine artist and cartoonist. His Christmas cards are hand drawn works of art. Some years they run two and three pages, comic book style, relating his and Big Bird’s adventures of the past year. Other Christmases, they’re wonderful illustrations of Caroll, his lovely wife, Debbie, his children, his characters and his home.
    Caroll’s home is another work of his art. Years ago, he bought a large plot of land