Free An Inch of Ashes by David Wingrove Page B

of his own private bathroom. ‘But you’ll not be there that often,’ Karr had warned him. ‘Why not move your sister in?’
    Vesa had jumped at the idea. She had held on to his neck and wept. Only then had he realized how lonely she had been, how great his neglect, and he had cried and held her tightly. ‘It’s all right,’ he had whispered, kissing her neck. ‘Everything will be all right.’
    He tucked the transfer document into his tunic, then hurried along the corridors, taking a crowded lift down to the living quarters in the heart of the great multi-stack fortress.
    She was waiting for him in the apartment. As he came in, she got up from the couch and came across, embracing him, her eyes bright with excitement.
    ‘This is wonderful, Axel! We’ll be happy here. I know we will.’
    He smiled and held her to him, looking about the room. The apartment she had been in had been a single room – like his own, spartanly furnished – and she’d had to share washing and night-soil facilities. He gritted his teeth against the shame that welled up at the thought of what he’d let happen to her, then met her eyes again, smiling.
    ‘We’ll get a few bits and pieces, neh? Brighten things up a bit. Make it more personal. More
us
.’
    She smiled. ‘That would be nice.’
    He let her go then stood there, watching her move about the room, disturbed by the thoughts, the memories that insisted on returning to him in her presence. He kept thinking of the girl in Mu Chua’s House of the Ninth Ecstasy; the sing-song girl, White Orchid, who had looked so much like Vesa. He looked down. That was all behind him now.
    ‘I thought I might cook you something ...’
    He went across. ‘Vesa, look... I’m sorry, but there’s something I have to do tonight. Something urgent.’
    She turned and looked at him, her disappointment sharp. ‘But I thought...’
    ‘I know. I’m sorry, I...’
    ‘Is it your new job?’
    He swallowed. ‘Yes...’ He hated lying to her, even over something as innocent as this, but it was important that she didn’t get involved. It would be dangerous pinning Ebert down and he didn’t want to put her at risk. Not for a single moment.
    She came across. ‘Never mind. Tomorrow night, neh? I’ll cook something special.’ She hesitated, watching his face, then smiled, her voice softening. ‘You know, Axel, I’m proud of you. I always have been. You were always something more to me than just my big brother. You were like—’
    ‘
Don’t
...’ he said softly, hurt by her words. Even so, he could not disillusion her; could not tell her the depths to which he had sunk. One day, perhaps, but not now. Maybe when he had nailed Ebert and the truth was out he would tell her everything. But not before.
    Her eyes blazed with her fierce sisterly love of him. That look, like purity itself, seared him. He let his eyes fall before it.
    ‘I must go.’ He kissed her brow, then turned away, picking up the bag he had packed earlier. He went to the small desk in the corner and took a tiny notebook from the drawer.
    ‘Your new job... is it dangerous?’
    ‘It might be.’
    ‘Then you’d best have this.’
    She placed something in his left hand. It was a pendant on a chain. A circle of black and white jade, the two areas meeting in a swirling S shape. A
tai chi
, the symbol of the Absolute – of Yin and Yang in balance. He stared at it a moment, then looked up at her.
    ‘It was Father’s,’ she said to his unspoken question. ‘He left it to me. But now it’s yours. It will protect you.’
    He set his bag down and slipped the pendant over his neck, holding the jade circle a moment between his fingers, feeling the cool smoothness of its slightly convex surface, then tucked it away beneath his tunic.
    He leaned forward and kissed her. ‘Thank you... I’ll treasure it.’
    ‘And, Axel?’
    He had bent down to lift his bag again. ‘Yes?’
    ‘Thank you... for all of this.’
    He smiled.
Yes
, he thought,
but