Free Thorneless (Rose of Thorne Series) by Mia Michelle Page A

enough as it is everywhere I go.
    I turn up the shot of tequila in front of me and keep my focus ahead at the mirror on the bar wall. My mascara is smeared and dried against my skin. I know I look like hell, but I sure as hell don’t care.  I’ve made it damn near clear to every guy who has approached me so far tonight that I am not interested.  Perhaps it’s the lost look in my eye or the smeared makeup on my face, but they leave me alone for the most part.
    Lucas takes a seat next to me at the bar, but I refuse to look at him. If I do, then he’ll see my face.  There’s no way I’m letting him see the pain that I’m feeling.  The pain I’m trying so damn hard not to break me.  The pain that I pray I can make go away through enough of these shots.
    He orders a tall mug of beer and sits quietly beside me while he sips on it.  He knows this irritates me more than bugging me with questions.  It’s the torture of silence.  It’s the torture of making me have to explain myself when I’m not ready to.  Well, guess what? He isn’t going to win at this tonight.  I’m too pissed off and what he doesn’t know is that I embrace the silence right now.
    He doesn’t let the game go on too long. Twenty minutes goes by before he breaks the silence.  
    “Skylar, I’m sorry.  I should’ve told you about needing to return here.  I just thought you were ready to face it.  You’ve been doing so well lately.”
    “We’re friends right?” I say turning to him and revealing the dried black streaks of my tears on my face.
    “Skylar,” he whispers my name with pain in his voice.  I can see the sorrow in his eyes.  He wants to continue, but I don’t give him the opportunity.
    “Then as my friend, I’m asking you to leave me the hell alone. I don’t need a babysitter tonight, Lucas,” I say as hatefully as I possibly can before turning up the shot in my hand. I motion for the bartender to pour me another one and hesitantly he does. After my last drunken episode, I know I’ll regret this in this morning, but right now that’s the least of my concern.
    “Skylar! Stop it! For fuck’s sake stop !” He yells and snatches the drink away from me.  The contents pour all over my arm and onto my skirt. I slap my hand down on the top of the bar and shove myself off the stool and glare angrily at him as he stands to face me.
    “What Lucas?  I’m giving you the night off from me.  Don’t you ever just get exhausted from all of this?  Really you should be happy that I’m helping you out. I’m a lost cause, so run while you can!  Believe me, I won’t blame you.  Go find you some girl and have some fun tonight. You deserve it.  Trust me—being celibate doesn’t suit you.”
    “Stop it , Skylar!”
    “No! You stop , Lucas! Stop treating me like I’m made of glass. I’m a broken mess. I’m no good for anyone. Not even for myself.“
    “Angel . . . ” H e breathes and reaches out for me, but I yank back.
    “I’m not your angel! I’m not anyone’s angel!  Angels are blessings and I’m nothing but a curse!” I reply with pain now oozing out of my every word. “Would an angel do this?” I ask as I grab the man beside me and slam my mouth against his.  The more I let go to feel the pain inside me, the more I intensify the kiss with the stranger.  I dare a glance back to find a heartbroken and raging Lucas.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this way before.   What the hell am I doing?  Why am I am hurting him?   
    The man whispers in my ear for us to go back to his place.  I nod.  I flip the switch. I refuse to feel right now.   I have to do this. It’s the only way.   The stranger wraps his hand around my waist and turns to pay the bartender.  I expect Lucas to be there, but he’s already gone.  Part of me breathes a sigh of relief and the other part of me begins to panic.  
    As hard as I try to turn everything off again, the switch isn’t working.  It’s like there’s a