really, really, super duper sure?”
“Yep, I’m sure as sure can be sure. Maybe you can just do me a solid someday if I need one.”
I laugh out loud at that. “Deal.” I smile at her as I take the little snowflake and pin it to my T-shirt.
“Well, I have to go now and tend to Lady Gaga. Maybe I’ll see you again, Jessica. I like talking to you.”
I laugh again. “Lady Gaga?”
“Yep, my pet pig. She’s probably already missing me.”
“Vivvie?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you name your pet pig Lady Gaga?”
“I love music and Lady Gaga is my favorite singer ever, ever, ever. She’s my hero. She has the best force fields of all. She has mean girls too, you know, but she doesn’t care. She’s the best and I love her. Every year, I wanted a pet pig so badly for Christmas. My mom always, always said no. I finally got one and she’s my favorite pet. So I named her after my favorite singer. I’ll bring her over one day. She has a really pretty collar with sparkles!”
She skips off as she waves good-bye to me. I just laugh to myself. A pet pig named Lady Gaga—hilarious. I raise my hand up to the snowflake, my new force field. I wish it were that simple. How great to be a little kid and have beliefs like that. Again I think about what a brave little girl she is, and I’m thankful she has such a great brother.
It’s been a while since I last cut. I know it’s because of Jace, but the fact that I don’t really have him nags at me daily. He makes me feel safe and loved, even though I’ve never heard those words from him. My world’s a little less dark.
I’ve never had a true friend before and it’s nice. More than nice. He’s my escape. Every time I see him, it’s like a high, my new drug of choice. Before, cutting and sleeping around gave me a high. Now all I seem to need is Jace’s presence. The way he treats me as if I’m a normal girl, like I’m one of the guys, is refreshing and frustrating all at the same time. That day in the pool when he almost kissed me is always at the forefront of my mind, even though it seems that he forgot about it long ago.
We’ve seen each other nearly every day since then. I go over to his house daily and we take turns beating each other in swim strokes. We’ve quickly learned that he can beat me in the butterfly every time, but he can never beat me in freestyle.
I still worry about screwing up his reputation, but the fact that he blatantly doesn’t seem to care eases my guilt a little. His world is a universe away from mine, although we seem to have so much in common. He likes a lot of the same music I like, and having an actual person to play 21 with is way better than doing it online. He’s also taught me how to play dominoes, but he calls it “throwing bones”.
Today, he’s introducing my bleeding ears to the most amazing stereo system I’ve ever heard in an automobile, and trying to teach me how to shoot hoops by playing a game like HORSE, only he says he hates calling it HORSE, because that’s dumb and horses have nothing to do with basketball. So instead, we play FOUL.
“You aren’t trying very hard, Jess. One more letter and I’m victorious once again.” I’m already on U, and he hasn’t missed a shot yet.
“I’m just letting you win.” I suck at basketball, but I don’t care because it’s fun.
“Jace!” I hear a faint female voice call from behind us. When I turn around and see his mom, I nearly die right here on the spot. We’re listening to a band that I’ve never heard before and, well, let’s just say that the band, ever so wonderfully named The Insane Clown Posse, doesn’t have the most mom-friendly lyrics. I don’t really care for it, but anything that Jace is into I make myself be into.
Like football. I know nothing about it, so I Googled and learned every possible thing I could about football terminology. Now I can watch a game with him and yell things like “Is the ref blind? That was a totally freaking
“Yep, I’m sure as sure can be sure. Maybe you can just do me a solid someday if I need one.”
I laugh out loud at that. “Deal.” I smile at her as I take the little snowflake and pin it to my T-shirt.
“Well, I have to go now and tend to Lady Gaga. Maybe I’ll see you again, Jessica. I like talking to you.”
I laugh again. “Lady Gaga?”
“Yep, my pet pig. She’s probably already missing me.”
“Vivvie?”
“Yeah?”
“Why did you name your pet pig Lady Gaga?”
“I love music and Lady Gaga is my favorite singer ever, ever, ever. She’s my hero. She has the best force fields of all. She has mean girls too, you know, but she doesn’t care. She’s the best and I love her. Every year, I wanted a pet pig so badly for Christmas. My mom always, always said no. I finally got one and she’s my favorite pet. So I named her after my favorite singer. I’ll bring her over one day. She has a really pretty collar with sparkles!”
She skips off as she waves good-bye to me. I just laugh to myself. A pet pig named Lady Gaga—hilarious. I raise my hand up to the snowflake, my new force field. I wish it were that simple. How great to be a little kid and have beliefs like that. Again I think about what a brave little girl she is, and I’m thankful she has such a great brother.
It’s been a while since I last cut. I know it’s because of Jace, but the fact that I don’t really have him nags at me daily. He makes me feel safe and loved, even though I’ve never heard those words from him. My world’s a little less dark.
I’ve never had a true friend before and it’s nice. More than nice. He’s my escape. Every time I see him, it’s like a high, my new drug of choice. Before, cutting and sleeping around gave me a high. Now all I seem to need is Jace’s presence. The way he treats me as if I’m a normal girl, like I’m one of the guys, is refreshing and frustrating all at the same time. That day in the pool when he almost kissed me is always at the forefront of my mind, even though it seems that he forgot about it long ago.
We’ve seen each other nearly every day since then. I go over to his house daily and we take turns beating each other in swim strokes. We’ve quickly learned that he can beat me in the butterfly every time, but he can never beat me in freestyle.
I still worry about screwing up his reputation, but the fact that he blatantly doesn’t seem to care eases my guilt a little. His world is a universe away from mine, although we seem to have so much in common. He likes a lot of the same music I like, and having an actual person to play 21 with is way better than doing it online. He’s also taught me how to play dominoes, but he calls it “throwing bones”.
Today, he’s introducing my bleeding ears to the most amazing stereo system I’ve ever heard in an automobile, and trying to teach me how to shoot hoops by playing a game like HORSE, only he says he hates calling it HORSE, because that’s dumb and horses have nothing to do with basketball. So instead, we play FOUL.
“You aren’t trying very hard, Jess. One more letter and I’m victorious once again.” I’m already on U, and he hasn’t missed a shot yet.
“I’m just letting you win.” I suck at basketball, but I don’t care because it’s fun.
“Jace!” I hear a faint female voice call from behind us. When I turn around and see his mom, I nearly die right here on the spot. We’re listening to a band that I’ve never heard before and, well, let’s just say that the band, ever so wonderfully named The Insane Clown Posse, doesn’t have the most mom-friendly lyrics. I don’t really care for it, but anything that Jace is into I make myself be into.
Like football. I know nothing about it, so I Googled and learned every possible thing I could about football terminology. Now I can watch a game with him and yell things like “Is the ref blind? That was a totally freaking