Free Falling into Place by Amy Zhang Page B

disappointed.
    Liz is headed for surgery again. Sometime this morning, her heart had begun to stutter. Ten minutes ago, it began to fail. Now, she is wax beneath white lights and scalpels. Dr. Henderson is working over her, thinking about the note on her medical records: ORGAN DONOR . He thinks about that irony as he works. Liz Emerson will never donate her organs, because they are destroyed, and he doesn’t know if they can get replacements soon enough.
    It seems that Julia may have arrived just in time to see all of her fears come true.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
    HarperCollins Publishers
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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Plans, New Years’ Day
    S he took a nap on the brown couch with her arm flung over her eyes, and when she woke up with her suicide outlined backward across her cheek and HERE LIES LIZ EMERSON on her forehead, she continued to plan.
    The party had not been the catalyst. Nor her stupidity. Nor her hands all over the hot torso of the boy who had gotten Kennie pregnant. It wasn’t the anger that clawed her insides to shreds, anger at all the idiocy, anger at the world, anger that made her dig her nails into Kyle’s skin even as her lips were on his.
    No, the party was simply the last straw.
    She had been desperate to feel something, anything. She needed a window, because she had broken her heart throwing it at locked doors.
    Liz got up off the brown couch. She looked down and saw a natural disaster. She could not exist without tearing everything around her to shreds.
    Over the next two weeks, Liz Emerson drafted her plans and revised them. She did her research and made sure she would have enough money to pay for gas and set a date.
    And she also gave herself a way out.
    A week—that’s what she allowed herself. An entire week before the last day. She thought of Julia filling herself up and Kennie becoming empty, and she understood. Life was precious. She knew that, knew it deeply, so she would try again. She would try what she tried on the night of the party, but she would do it right this time. Seven days, seven chances. She would wake up seven more times and search again for a reason to go on. She would give the entire world a week to change her mind.
    But she also knew that life was fragile, and if her week failed, she knew how to shatter.

UNCORRECTED E-PROOF—NOT FOR SALE
    HarperCollins Publishers
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CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Seven Days Before Liz Emerson Crashed Her Car
    M ost of the varsity girls played in the winter soccer league, because Julia’s father had offered to pay for everyone this year as part of his annual attempt to mend his relationship with his daughter. They were all drained from the pre-calc test, and the atmosphere in the locker room was quieter than usual. The team they were playing today was made up of girls from a Division One school. They knew today’s game would be a train wreck.
    As everyone else adjusted their shin guards and did last-minute stretches, Liz sat on the bench and looked around at each of them, and realized that she had spent the last seven years of her life with these girls and knew no more than the most superficial details about them. Jenna Haverick was great with headers and had a dog named Napoleon. Skyler Matthews was right-handed but played with her left foot, and only ate butter pecan ice cream. Allison Chevero was great at making fouls look accidental, and she had a tramp stamp that her parents still didn’t know about.
    Other than Julia, these girls were worse than strangers. These were people she had spent years and years with and never even wondered about. She had never asked about their fears or failures, successes and embarrassments. She just didn’t care very much, and as she sat on the bench with her team around her, the absolute sadness of the fact overwhelmed her. She knew so many