ominous. Like without Meg by my side, it’s clear
what I am. What I’ve been all along.
x x x
When I tell Tricia I’m going back to Tacoma for the weekend, she gives me a funny
look. It’s not like she’ll stop me. I’m eighteen, and even if I weren’t, she’s never
been that kind of mother. “Is there a guy?” she asks.
“What? No! It’s for Meg’s stuff. Why would you say that?”
She narrows her eyes and sniffs, like she’s trying to smell something on me. Then
she gives me twenty bucks for the trip.
I text Alice that I’m coming and ask if I can crash, and she responds with a bunch
of exclamation points, like we’re buddies or something. She says she’ll be gone most
of Saturday at her internship, but we can hang out Sunday. I tell Harry I’m coming
too, and he says he’ll look at the computer right away, that he’s looking forward
to it.
x x x
I get in late, but the couch has been made up for me. I crash there. In the morning,
Harry and I go into his room, which has, like, five computers in it, all on and humming.
We turn on Meg’s. He opens her mail program first. “I’m not sure about retrieving
the deleted email,” he says once he’s looked around. “Her mail program is set to use
IMAP, so once messages are deleted here, they’re also gone from the server.”
I nod, as if that makes sense to me.
He clicks on the encrypted file. “She probably meant to throw this away too, but the
encryption got corrupted somehow and it prevented the machine from throwing it away.”
“What do you mean?”
“You found it in the trash, right?”
I nod again.
“She probably tried to empty it, but watch. . . .” He goes to the menu and selects
“Empty Trash.”
“Don’t!” I yell.
He holds up his hand for me to stop. Some of the things empty, but then an error message
reads, “The operation cannot be completed because the item ‘Unnamed Folder’ is in
use.”
“I put some dummy folders in the trash so we could see that it’ll empty that, but
not this. And don’t worry, I already copied this folder onto my computer. But my guess
is, she meant to toss it, but couldn’t.”
“Oh.”
“Whatever it is, it’s something she didn’t want people to see. You sure you want to
see it?”
I shake my head. I’m not sure at all. “This isn’t about what I
want
.”
“Okay. I’m doing something this afternoon, but I’ll work on it before and when I get
home. It’s going to take a little bit of doing.”
I’m about to apologize, but I see the delight in Harry’s eyes, like I’ve just given
him the world’s biggest puzzle. So I thank him instead.
He nods. “How are the cats doing?”
“Don’t know. That guy Ben took them.”
“He lives in Seattle, right?”
I shrug. I think that’s what he said.
“If you want to check on the cats, my church group is going up there this afternoon
to paint a youth center. We could give you a ride.”
“They’re kittens, Harry, not babies. And they’re probably not even there. He was sending
them to his mom.” Though the way Ben talked, I didn’t get the sense he was the kind
of guy who saw his mom every week. “Anyhow, they’re not my concern anymore.”
He holds his hands up. “Sorry. You seemed pretty into them. Meg was.”
“I’m not Meg.”
He nods again. “Let me get to work on this.”
x x x
The morning drags on. Alice and Stoner Richard aren’t home and Harry hasn’t left his
room, so I sit there, on the front porch, watching the rain come down. In the corner,
I see one of the catnip-filled mice the kittens would spend hours attacking. It’s
like it’s staring at me.
“Oh, fine.” I grab my phone and text Ben.
How are the cats?
He texts back immediately:
Out back
.
Trying to catch rain
. Then he texts a picture of them frolicking in a yard.
Good pastime for Seattle cats
.
Beats chasing tail
.
You’d know
.
Ha! Where are
Sidney Sheldon, Tilly Bagshawe