Free Naked Edge by Charli Webb Page B

his hair. He seems more in control now. “And it’s potentially career ending so don’t mention it to anyone.”
    “You’re okay, though, right?”
    “Did I do anything weird?”
    “Like what?”
    “If you have to ask, that means I didn’t.” He smiles, but it looks more like a grimace.
    “What triggered it?”
    “Stress.”
    “I shouldn’t have pressured you.”
    He sighs. “I didn’t want you to know.”
    “Why? Did you think I wouldn’t understand? That I would judge you?”
    He shrugs. “I thought it was the reason you disappeared.”
    His admission stabs me through the heart. I can’t believe he didn’t have more faith in me.  
    “When you didn’t return any of my calls, I got worried. At first, I thought Will and Lori were keeping us apart, but they were just as baffled about your sudden disappearance as I was.”
    My chest aches as I imagine their concern. “What did they say?”
    Rowdy’s lips twitch into a slight smile. “They quizzed me pretty hard about what happened between us that night.”
    Blood rushes to my face. “What do you mean?”
    “They thought you might have left because we had a big fight or something.”
    “What did you tell them?”
    “The truth.”
    It’s hard to force the words past the lump in my throat. “You told them we had sex?”
    Rowdy takes my hands and holds them next to his chest. “I didn’t want to. But you’d been gone for three days. No one could get in touch with you or your parents. I didn’t want to withhold any information that might help find you.”
    I see his point, even if I don’t see how that particular detail could help anyone find me.
    “I didn’t lose faith right away.” He weaves his fingers between mine. “In fact, I clung to every excuse I could think of no matter how ridiculous or far-fetched. When your Facebook and Twitter accounts were deleted, I assumed that your mom heard about what happened and didn’t want you anywhere near me. I hung on to the hope that it wasn’t your choice. I thought that once school started in the fall, you’d borrow a phone and call me. When that didn’t happen, I told myself that as soon as you were eighteen, you’d reach out to me.”
    I lift his hands to my face and press his knuckles against my cheek.  
    He turns my hands over and kisses both palms. “I was upset when you didn’t call, but I rationalized my way past it. I told myself that even though you were eighteen, you were still in high school. Still living under your mom’s roof and her rules. I took a bus to San Diego and went to your old high school to try to find you. You weren’t there and none of your old friends knew where you’d gone.”
    “You talked to my old friends?” The thought simultaneously warms my heart and intensifies the ache.
    Rowdy smiles and nods. “I was surprised by how many of them recognized me. You never told me that you plastered the inside of your locker with my photos or kept a laminated picture of me in your purse and another one stuck in the sun visor of your car. I was practically a celebrity.”
    My face is on fire. But hearing Rowdy’s deep, quiet chuckle is worth the embarrassment. “How many of my friends hit on you?”
    “All of the girls and two of the guys.” He smiles, but it’s a sad, barely there, smile. “I turned them all down. I didn’t break any of my promises until after the funeral.”
    My heart stops. I take a step back to give myself some breathing room. “Why then?”
    “I ran out of excuses.” He shrugs. “You were nineteen. I couldn’t blame your absence on your mom anymore.”
    “Is that when you started to hate me?”
    “I never hated you.” Rowdy lifts my chin with his forefinger and ducks his head to capture my gaze. “I tried. Every day since the funeral, I tried to hate you. But it never worked. I could be angry with you, furious even, but hate you? Never.”
    I’m melting into a puddle of Rowdy-adoring goo. I need to reestablish a few boundaries,