Free Lean On Me (Take My Hand) by Nicola Haken Page B

two giant wheels on either side of their arse wouldn’t you? Well
you’d be wrong. Honestly, the amount of people who carry on about their
business as if I’m invisible is unbelievable.
    Take
the guy standing in front of me in the queue. He reached into the back of his
pants, adjusted his underwear and then started scratching his arse. Now you’ve
gotta remember, when you’re in a permanent sitting down position, that means
your eyes are butt level with everyone else. As usual, I just looked away and
let him and his itch enjoy their special moment together.
    Until
I heard the nauseating sound of his fingernails grazing his arse hair…
    “Want
me to help you out with that seeing as I’m down here?”
    I’ve
never seen anything move so fast as when he whipped his hand from his pants.
Think Edward Cullen on amphetamines. However, unlike my favourite vampire, there was nothing pale about this man.
I swear you could’ve fried eggs on his cheeks when he turned around and saw me.
    Mission
accomplished.
    Either
from impatience or embarrassment, the man with the itchy arse weaved his way
out of the queue and left, making room for me to get past in the process.
     
    My
next class covered the outline for an oil-painting project we’ve got coming up.
This was the first time I’d ever yawned my way through a class. I was bored
shitless and had zero interest in anything to do with the degree I so
desperately wanted to gain. Instead, all my mind seemed to want to think about
was Jared. The way his green eyes sparkle in the daylight, the way he styles
his blonde hair so it’s perfectly scruffy, the way his arse cheeks flex when
he’s walking…
    Dear
God this man is taking over my life. I’m either in for a wonderful ride… or I’m
totally screwed. On the plus side, I’m going to have fun finding out.
     
    “So
I was thinking,” Holly said once we were settled on the bus heading for The
Brunswick shopping centre. She’d had to leave her car in the centre car park
after being blocked in by an anonymous arsehole when she nipped into work
earlier, so we were going to pick it up when we’d finished shopping. “We should
get you pampered for your man,” she added with a wink. Why didn’t I like the
sound of that? “You know, get you waxed and
stuff.” That’s why.
    “ No one except Jared is smoothing anything hot and sticky on my hoohaa,”
I said firmly.
    “T.
M. I.”
    “Seriously
though, why the hell would I want someone I’ve never met before to rip hairs
out of my ugly place? Not gonna happen, Hols. Not. Gonna. Happen.”
    “Well
at least let me give you a makeover.” Her voice had turned all pleading and
childlike. Well that might work on her daddy but it wasn’t about to work on me.
    “No
way. I think you’re beautiful, Hols… but I would die before I’d let you plaster my lips in that pink shit,” I
grumbled, nodding towards her shimmering lips.
    “Fine.
But I’m doing your hair,” she insisted. “And don’t blame me when Jared dumps
you for being too hairy.”
    “I
am not too hairy! I… shave the essentials,” I whispered the
last part. “Jesus, I’m not discussing this anymore. We’re on a bloody bus!”
     
    Holly
dragged me round what must have been six-hundred different clothes shops. Okay
so I might be exaggerating slightly but the ache in my arms made it feel like that many, and I made a vow to
myself that I would never attempt shopping with Holly again until I’d invested
in a motorised chair.
    I
hadn’t set out to buy clothes but ended up coming away with a vintage dress
with black sparrows printed on it, a new pair of distressed jeans and a neon
yellow off-the-shoulder jumper. Somehow a new lip stud with a ruby gem also
found its way into my possession too. I might not be able to afford anything
more elaborate than toast for dinner tomorrow, but hey, it’ll match my new
hair.
    Holly
treated my chair like her own personal shopping trolley and by the time we were
in the hair dye