Free Sexy Book of Sexy Sex by Kristen Schaal Page A

“Thair ees no twalett papair een thair.”
    Stacee was so focused on being inconspicuous that she answered without thinking. “That’s perfect, thank you.”
    The Frenchman gave her a puzzled look and returned to his seat, glancing back at her the whole way.
    Stacee was tempted to call the whole thing off. But then she saw Rex licking his lips, daring her to be a bad girl. It was maybe the hottest thing Stacee had ever seen. Emboldened, she took a deep breath and closed herself inside the bathroom.
    The bathroom was barely big enough for one person, let alone two. Stacee took a good look at herself in the mirror. She was pretty. If she pouted her lips and squinted her eyes, she was even sexy. If she flipped her dress over her face and openedher legs, she was a sex object. She took off her sweater and wedged it in the paper towel dispenser. It almost felt like a dressing room. And when Rex knocked on the door she felt dangerous.
    Stacee pulled open the door a few inches and wedged herself by the toilet so that Rex could squeeze through. He entered, erection first. Rex closed the door behind him and locked it.
    “Jesus. How did you get that thing down the aisle?” she whispered, instinctively grabbing it and peeling down his Jams like they were a splotchy, fluorescent banana peel.
    “Jedi mind trick. Now take this skyfucker’s light saber, my princess.”
    Stacee steadied herself against both walls of the bathroom while lifting her leg onto the sink. Her foot came down on the soap dispenser, and blue gel squirted everywhere. Rex was having an equally hard time wrangling his rigid cock in such close quarters. He might as well have been trying to break a pińata inside a phone booth. Stacee’s hip hit the flush button, and a mighty WHOOSH roared from the stainless-steel bowl.
    “Just... try to get under...”
    “I’m trying! I’m trying!”
    “Are you in?”
    “That’s my elbow. Hold on.”
    Rex grabbed a handful of blue soap and smeared it on his forearm, hoping the extra lube would let him slide it up and over Stacee’s knee. It worked. That accomplished, he went about the tricky business of guiding his shaft into her glistening triangle. In the cramped lavatory it was hard to miss... and it was waiting for him.
    Stacee couldn’t believe it. She was having sex in an airplane bathroom. Though the accomplished librarian spent her days surrounded by knowledge, nothing in those musty books could have prepared her for the ecstasy she experienced in that Newark-bound fuck-cubby. With each of Rex’s powerful thrusts the bathroom shook. Was it turbulence, or was the jackhammer action of Rex’s cock actually putting the plane in danger? Neither of them cared. Lust was at the controls now, and Pleasure was the copilot.
    Rex and Stacee’s simultaneous sky orgasm rivaled anything they had experienced at SandWhispers. When it was over they collapsed into each other’s arms and panted like newborn colts, weak-kneed and in desperate need of a good brushing.
    Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Rex and Stacee froze.
    “You all right in there?” It was the stewardess.
    “What do we do?” Stacee whispered.
    Rex’s face took on a look of resolve. “We pull up our underwear and act cool.”
    Rex drew a deep breath and pushed open the door. There was a long Une of people waiting to use the bathroom. It was exactly what Rex and Stacee had been afraid of. Stacee tugged on Rex’s sleeve, silently signaling him to stick to the plan.
    “My wife is diabetic so I was holding her hair!” Rex blurted.
    They were busted.
    The remaining three hours and forty minutes of the four-hour f light were understandably awkward. As a copilot, Pleasure had been nothing but accommodating to the couple’s sexual needs, but the actual copilot was far less sym-pathetic. He told Rex and Stacee he could have them arrested and even made them clean up the soap in the bathroom while the other passengers watched. Fortunately for Rex and Stacee,