Free Mirror of My Soul by Joey W. Hill Page B

of what had happened with Tim.
    “She’s stronger than you think.”
    “No, Mr. Winterman. I know she’s very strong. Strong enough to kill to survive. To destroy herself to protect others.”
    She turned the lemon drop in her fingers over and over, the powdered sugar
    coating dusting her fingertips.
    “I’m going to tell you about Marguerite’s father. Not because I think you should be privy to such information without her consent, but because I believe you when you say you’re in love with her. But before I share, you’re going to give me something you don’t want to offer. An even trade, a surety if you will. Will you agree?”
    He inclined his head but even so he wasn’t ready for what she asked, a woman old enough to be his mother, surrounded by the trappings of a modest, conservatively lived life.
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    Mirror of My Soul
    “You and Marguerite obviously are having a sexual relationship. Based on my
    knowledge of her, there is almost no way short of a miracle that she can handle sex in a traditional way. Her history makes her a likely candidate to be a Dominatrix. But you don’t strike me as a sexual submissive. And I would think that may be one of the strongest conflicts you have physically. Would that be accurate?”
    It was difficult, but looking at it through her eyes, Tyler knew it was quid pro quo.
    He gave a curt nod. “I’m a sexual Dominant. You’re right about the way she’s chosen to express herself sexually. That’s how I met her, through a mutual club membership. But with me…she submits. And it scares the shit…it scares her, very much.”
    “And you’ve pushed it.” Her attention moved to his cheek. “Pushed it until she lashed out somewhat literally?”
    Tyler rose from the chair, moved to the other side of the coffee table. At her assessing look, he gave a short, irritated laugh. “That was a defensive movement, wasn’t it?”
    “Entirely. You’re not comfortable with how you’ve pushed her.” She put down the lemon drop. “And that also makes me feel better about you, Mr. Winterman. You have a conscience that won’t let you rationalize your actions, at least not indefinitely.
    Treasure that. It’s a great gift and one that can save your soul in the long term.”
    He shook his head. “I don’t need a lesson in spiritual development.”
    “You must have God’s ear, then.” Her eyes glinted. “A pity. Because I’m
    approaching this my way.”
    Tyler sat back down across from her, ran a hand over his face. “I didn’t mean it that way. I know where my limits are, the lines I can’t cross and I’ve learned them the hard way. But now…” He spread out his hands. “Mrs. Gupta, I don’t claim to know
    everything of the mysteries of the world and certainly not the mysteries of a woman’s heart. But I know sometimes the hardest lessons you learn in life will help you to succeed later, in moments where success doesn’t seem possible.
    “I sensed…I sensed there was something wrong from the first. I know this part is right, that she wants to surrender herself to me during sex and I hope to God as I’m saying this you don’t have any moral judgments about it, because you probably will boot my ass out on the street. But I respect and love her, believe in her strength. But when I sense that wrongness… I know I’m in a very dangerous area. What happened earlier this week—” he touched his cheek, “—just underscored it. I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t,” he added fiercely. “And that’s why I’m here. I need help. I need to know how to move around in a jungle where I’ve got no light at all. But I’m not backing out of that jungle. That’s not an option. I’m in there now. I know she wants me there. I just have to find her so she won’t be frightened by the sound of snapping twigs, thinking it’s her nightmares rather than me.”
    Komal cocked her head, her eyes thoughtful. “Be quiet, Mr. Winterman. I’d like a moment to collect my