Free Random Acts of Love (Random #5) by Julia Kent Page B

who?”
    “If anyone’s marrying him, it’s me,” I muttered.
    See? Wisdom don’t mean shit unless you use it.
    “You want to marry him?” Joe said in a tight voice, the sound of a steel door being slammed shut between him and the world.
    “No.”
    “You don’t?” Now Trevor’s hurt voice poured over me from his side.
    Aw, fuck. How in the hell did this happen? One minute we’re doing the three-backed nasty and having sweaty orgasms, and the next minute I’ve managed to offend both of them.
    Welcome to my life.
    “I like our relationship the way it is,” I said, trying to soothe both hurt egos. 
    “You like living with Trevor and Sam and Amy while I live separately from you?” Joe spat out.
    “That’s not what I—”
    “And you just said you wouldn’t marry me,” Trevor barked. We were now a tangle of naked bodies and twisted sheets, both men pulled back from me, the absence of their skin making this worse somehow.
    “You’re both twisting my words!”
    “Your words are clear!” they shouted in unison, then looked at each other in shock.
    And then those motherfuckers high fived each other.
    Men.
    “I think you two need to marry each other,” I said in a verbal Hail Mary pass that had the intended effect. 
    Their looks of self-righteous satisfaction melted to the look of Pete Carroll in the waning seconds of Superbowl IL.
    “I’m not marrying him!” they said in unison. No giddy high five followed.
    “Why is he good enough for me to marry but not good enough for you?” I challenged Trevor, whose face puckered in consternation at my turn of logic. Heh. You live in a relationship with a guy at Harvard and Penn Law and you learn a few things.
    “She’s got you there, Trev,” Joe said with a smirk.
    “That goes double for you,” I said to him, tilting my head and studying his fine ass as he sat up, head against the headboard.
    “Double?”
    “Why can I marry Trevor but you can’t?”
    “My mother would sooner eat canned Spam than watch me marry Trevor.”
    “She got something against gay people?”
    “WE’RE NOT GAY!” Joe and Trevor shouted in unison, yet again. This time they both grabbed a blanket and covered themselves.
    I was left untouched, uncovered. Unmoored. Unmarried.
    “You don’t have to shout.” The air in the room was charged. A simple request for my attendance at dinner at Trevor’s parents’ house had turned into this.
    “I never said you’re gay. Besides, I know you’re not gay. If anyone knows you’re not gay, it’s me, you dumbasses.”
    Bzzz.
    Saved by the phone.
    It was a text for me. Sam. Then a quick one from Liam.
    “We have a meeting in fifteen minutes. Remember?” I said, climbing over the bed at Joe’s feet and grabbing fresh clothes from my drawer. “I’ll take the first shower.” 
    Joe and Trevor exchanged one of those looks I never understood.
    “Why waste water?” Trevor said as he rooted in his dresser for new clothes. “I’ll join you.”
    Joe grabbed his clothes from the floor. “Me too.”
    “This ain’t Eden, guys. The shower is a three-foot by three-foot itty bitty thing. Sam and Amy can go at it in there, but that’s only two people.” 
    “Are you saying you only want one of us in there?” Joe asked in a cold voice.
    “No,” I said evenly, not taking his bait. “But I am saying that it’s so small one of you might have to take it up the butt from the shower handle if we’re not careful.”
    Joe and Trevor looked at each other. “I’m not sure whether that’s an argument for, or against all three of us in the shower,” Trevor said as Joe lunged at me and I raced into the bathroom, giggling as he grabbed my ass.
    Those men. Take something serious and turn it into arguments and sex. Couldn’t we all just get along? 
    I turned on the faucet and soon steam filled the air, Trevor and Joe in the tiny bathroom with me, like a sexed-up locker room. I pulled back the shower curtain and climbed in. No way I would be