Free Risking it All by Tessa Bailey Page B

pain. The giving of it and the
    receiving of it. Not a day went by
    anymore where he didn’t condone the
    use of violence. As a teenager and even
    through his early twenties, he’d loved
    fighting. Lived for it. He’d loved the fact
    no one ever got the drop on him; he
    could use his fists to get out of any
    situation. That time had long passed, and
    now it was work. The kind of work that
    breaks you down until nothing registers.
    For a while now, he’d experienced slips
    into numbness. It got a little easier every
    time, to issue the order. A little easier to
    think of people as dollar signs instead of
    living, breathing human beings with
    souls.
    Had he been born with a soul? He’d
    often wondered if it were possible to
    walk upright, communicating and living
    life with just the idea of where his soul
    should be. Worse, did people see that
    lack in him? Is that why everyone left in
    the end?
    An image of the woman, hair streaked
    full of pink, replaced Sera in his mind,
    but he grabbed on to her and held tight,
    the way he wished he could do in real
    life. He didn’t want to think about the
    woman or why she’d left or if it had
    been something he could have prevented.
    Something
    he
    could
    have
    done
    differently. Right now, at least he had a
    purpose. Protect Sera. Keep Ruby’s
    involvement in his father’s arrest
    confidential. If he could do those two
    things, maybe he could look back one
    day and say he’d done something that
    mattered. Keeping his own ass out of jail
    didn’t quite rate in comparison, but it
    drove him, too. No way would he pass
    his father in the Rikers Island cafeteria
    and see smug satisfaction on his face.
    Finally, after an eternity, the car
    pulled over to drop him at the curb
    outside of Rush. The other passengers
    were still in their element, mimicking the
    cries of pain they’d induced tonight,
    already talking about the next time.
    Irritation snapping behind his eyes, he
    stooped down and leaned into the
    passenger side window. Everyone shut
    up, attention zeroing in on him. “Listen
    up. You assholes want to go out and get
    your dicks wet, get drunk? Have at it.
    But keep your fucking mouths shut.
    You’re about as inconspicuous as a
    couple of Macy’s parade floats. This
    isn’t your first fight and it won’t be your
    last, so quit acting like it. You’re
    embarrassing yourselves and me in the
    process.”
    The driver held up his hands. “You
    got it, boss.”
    God , he hated being called that. Boss
    of what? A car full of shitheads. He
    straightened and patted the car’s roof
    once. “Take it easy on them girls.”
    Spirits somewhat restored, the car full
    of men pulled away as Bowen walked
    into Rush, nodding in greeting at the
    bouncer. As he wove through the crowd
    at the bar, he heard his name spoken
    several times. Some of the voices
    female, some male. He ignored them all.
    The moment his eyes landed on Sera, the
    screaming in his head died down to a
    whisper. Face flushed, hair falling out of
    its ponytail, she looked more than a little
    flustered. Since he’d left, the place had
    grown busy, the typical Saturday night
    crowd looking to get rowdy. The tray
    full of drinks in her hand looked seconds
    from gracing the floor.
    Good Lord, the girl was a horrible
    waitress. Why did that make him want
    her even more?
    He didn’t even realize he was walking
    toward her until Connor stepped into his
    path, bringing him up short. “Driscol.”
    Bowen gave a quick nod, angling
    himself so he could keep an eye on Sera.
    “Look at you, fully clothed. Is there a
    special occasion?”
    “Nah.” Connor shrugged. “I just don’t
    have a beautiful girl in my bed at the
    moment.”
    His vision swam with red. “I’d be
    more careful about what comes out of
    your mouth. I don’t care if this club
    belongs to your cousin. Don’t talk about
    her.”
    Connor considered him in a way that
    made Bowen almost uncomfortable. This
    wasn’t a typical neighborhood guy. Too
    much