commandment as if it were a lifeline. “If they let her die, it’s the same as killing her.”
“But if they didn’t have the machines in the first place, wouldn’t Amy have died already? There’s a saying that everything under the sun has a season, that there’s ‘a time to live and a time to die.’ What aboutAmy’s time to die, Erin? What right does medicine have to tamper this way with her season?”
Erin was afraid she was going to be sick. Her father’s questions were frightening her. She had never thought about such things before, and she couldn’t think about them now. Especially about Amy. “But you said her heart’s fine, didn’t you?”
“Yes, honey, she’s young and strong. They were only asking what we’d want done should she suddenly die, that’s all. We live in a world where technology gives us options. They can restart her heart”—he paused and cleared his throat—“or they can let her go.”
Erin pressed her lips together. “Well, I want them to start her heart again if it should stop. So that’s my choice. What do you and Mom want to do?”
“The same thing.”
Erin sagged and let out her breath. “I guess it’s real complicated, isn’t it?”
“It’s very complicated. If Amy never comes out of her coma, we’re probably dooming her to a life in an institution.”
“But she may wake up,” Erin countered, her voice quavering. “The machines are helping her live long enough for her brain to get better. That’s the way I see it.”
Mr. Bennett stroked the teddy bear’s tummy. Erin wanted to throw herself in her father’s arms, but she was too old for that. Too old to cry like a baby. “Thanks for talking to me, Dad. I’m glad you told me what the doctors asked.”
“Were a family, Erin. Your wishes count too.” He stood, smoothed his rumpled shirt, and plunked the stuffed bear on the couch. He said, “I’d better get ready and get down to the hospital so your mother can come home and get some sleep.”
“Sure.” Erin began to gather the photo albums, spread out in a jumble around her. “Im going to clean up here and go to bed.” He left the room, and Erin shut each book, being very careful not to look at any more pictures.
When she was finished, she picked up the teddy bear and hugged it to her breasts. It smelled new but also carried the sweet, pungent aroma of her father’s pipe tobacco. She cuddled it tenderly and rocked back and forth on her knees until she heard her father leave for the hospital.
By Wednesday Erin had settled into a routine of relieving her mother midmorning and staying until one of her parents relieved her in the early evening. The monotony of the day was broken by Beth, who came straight from school every afternoon.
“I’m glad Easter break starts tomorrow,” Beth told Erin as she nibbled on a handful of potato chips.
“Me too,” Erin said, thinking of the plans shed made a month before with Shara to go to the beach and stare at the college guys down from the northern campuses. There’d be no sun-filled vacation for her now.
She and Beth started a game of Monopoly. “How’s your sister today?”
“The CAT they just did didn’t show any more swelling, so at least they won’t have to operate.”
“That’s good.”
“But it didn’t show the doctors anything else promising,” Erin countered. “They’ll do another one in a few days.”
“Did you put the things in her room like you told me you were going to do?”
“Only some stuffed animals, but I want to put up her life-size poster of Tom Cruise on one of the walls tonight. The nurses didn’t seem to mind when I asked if it was okay.”
“Who would mind?” Beth joked. “At least when she comes out of her coma, there’ll be something worth waking up for.”
“Right,” Erin agreed. “Whenever she comes out of her coma.”
That evening at home Erin went into Amy’s bedroom to take down the poster. She entered hesitantly, momentarily surprised.