Free Written By Fate by K Larsen Page A

leaves just me to hold
down the fort. I grab a beer from the fridge and plop down on the beanbag chair
usually reserved for Allie. It smells like her and my heart aches a little
knowing I won't see her for six more days. I take a sip of my beer and start
thinking about my pathetic love life. I’d shied away from men mostly because my
mom was an absentee mom growing up, always doting on a new boyfriend after my
dad was found guilty of embezzling and sent off to prison. I didn’t trust men
and I didn’t want to be like my mother. I’d given my V-card to some douche in
high school who didn’t even know my last name. It was quick, relatively
painless, and completely uneventful. After that I’d waited until college before
trying again. Tucker and I had dated for a year and although the sex was fairly
vanilla, it was satisfying because we cared deeply for each other. I’d left
Tucker, like a jerk, for Daniel. He’d come into the coffee shop where I worked
and swept me off my feet. Hook, line, and sinker, I was a goner from the first
moment he spoke. He was a Harvard Law student and came with an impressive trust
fund. Never had I been so pampered and spoiled, so taken care of. It was like a
fairy tale. Between the sheets he subjected me to a whole new world of
possibilities and I loved every second of it. Although he was overbearing,
controlling, and possessive, I continued deeper into our relationship. Amanda
and Marg hated him. I can understand why now, but I was too blind to get it
then. The day I graduated college he proposed. His grandmother’s engagement
ring was a stunning family heirloom and valued at well over twenty thousand
dollars. We moved in together shortly after that to his townhouse while he
finished law school. From there we would move back to his California home where
he would be groomed to follow his father’s footsteps in politics.
     
    Appearances were everything. I needed to look and act the
part any time we were outside our home. There were no days off in Daniel’s
world. I’d always wanted to be a tattoo artist. My degree in graphic design was
just that: a degree, a fall-back, but Daniel would have no part of my dream. I
was to fall in line and be a kept woman. I was not to complain that he was out
with other women doing what he wanted. I would always smile and appear picture
perfect. I grew to resent and later hate him until one day I disappeared into
the wind and never looked back. I abandoned him, my mother, and everyone else
in my life. I moved constantly and never really let anyone in. After delivering
Allie I became even more vigilant about our safety, knowing that if Daniel ever
found out he had an illegitimate child with a poor tattoo artist it would be
detrimental to his appearance and his family’s social standing. I couldn't
imagine how he’d react or what he might do so I never gave him the chance. No
one entered my little bubble until Sawyer.
     
    I don't know why but when he blew into my and Allie’s lives
it felt right and safe and meant to be. The feeling seemed to be mutual but
like always I grew restless and pushed him away. Well, emotionally at least. He
gets it though, and stays anyways. Connor was a month-long, intense fling that
fizzled out almost as intensely as it started. Sawyer hated Connor. Lastly,
there was Brian, a really nice guy. I guess that was the problem. We dated for
a few months and he was just too nice. There was no edge to him. We never
progressed past first base. I’m not exactly warm and fuzzy, but he was and it
just didn't make sense. We still wave and chitchat if we run into each other
but he’s happily dating one of the kindergarten teachers now, which totally
makes sense. And there you have it, my sordid past and depressing sex life laid
out in a neat lame package.
     
    Outside of Sawyer and Daniel, no man has ever claimed me,
consumed me, or had the balls to make me submit. I can't explain it but when a
man takes control and just...well...takes