Free Boys That Bite by Mari Mancusi Page B

saying," Magnus continues, ignoring my guesses, "we knights were sent to the eastern lands on a crusade. Our mission was to convert the pagans and, more importantly, find the Holy Grail." He turns to look at me. "That's the cup that Jesus Christ used during the Last Supper." "I know what it is. I'm not stupid," I say. "I mean, I've seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. And Monty Python, of course." Magnus screws up his face. "Urn, right. Well, in any case, not long after we arrived, our order was captured by the Moors in the city of Bethlehem. We were thrown into prison. Beaten and starved until we were very close to death. I thought my life would end in that prison. End at age eighteen." Magnus pauses, then adds, "But really, that's where it all began." I nod. "Okay, go on." This is getting to be a darn good story. For a moment, I almost forget I'm stuck in a deep, dark, underground titanium room with only a vampire to keep me company. "Back then vampires didn't have donor blood banks like we do today. So in order to get the blood they needed to survive, they were forced to suck it from the necks of unwilling humans. Very un-PC, I know, but what can you do? It was a barbaric age all around. Anyway, one night, Lucifent arrived at the Moorish prison to search for victims. When he saw the torture we prisoners had endured, he was horrified. He couldn't believe such cruelty existed." "And this from a man who ripped open throats on a nightly basis." Magnus frowns. "He did it in the most humane manner possible," he insists, shooting me a glare. "Okay, okay. I'll stop ragging on your sire. Jeez," I say, a bit sulkily. Magnus shakes his head, then continues. "So, in an act of raw passion, Lucifent murdered all the guards, draining their blood instead of ours for his midnight snack. They didn't even see him coming. Then, when he was done, he set us all free." "Well that was awfully nice of him," I say, trying to earn back my brownie points. "But I was too weak to get away," Magnus explains. "My muscles had atrophied from nearly a year's imprisonment and I couldn't get up. So Lucifent asked me if I would like to die, or if I'd prefer eternal life." Magnus shrugs. "You can probably guess what I chose." "Wow. That's some story!" I say, impressed. I try to imagine what it'd be like to live in the twelfth century. To go on crusades and be captured, tortured, with no Geneva Convention to stop them from doing their worst. "So you've been a vampire ever since?" "Yes. Through the rise of the British Empire, the founding of America, the Industrial Revolution, the Civil War. Through the Roaring Twenties and the Great Depression. World War I, World War II. Kennedy to Khrushchev. Disco and techno. The Electric Slide and the Boot Scootin' Boogie. All of J-Lo's marriages and P. Diddy's name changes. You name it, I've lived through it." "And are you happy? Do you like being a vampire?" Magnus is silent for a moment. "In a way," he says at last. "Eternal life is a great gift. I've had so many adventures. So many experiences. At the same time, it's a bit. . . lonely." "Lonely?" "All my mortal friends have been dead a thousand years," he says softly, staring at the ground. "And until you're matched with your blood mate, which doesn't happen till you hit the millennium mark and your blood is properly aged, you're not really supposed to get into any serious relationships." Wow. This guy hasn't had a date in a thousand years? No wonder he's so cranky! "And now, just my luck, I'd finally been approved for a blood mate. A partner I'm allowed to love and care for and spend the rest of eternity with. And then I go and screw up royally and bite the wrong girl." He slams a fist against the floor. "Now I'll probably be doomed to walk the earth alone for the rest of my life." I study him sympathetically. Poor guy. All he wanted was a nice girlfriend who appreciated him. Instead he got saddled with whiny, unappreciative me. "No offense to you and all," he adds,