Free How to Meditate by Pema Chödrön Page A

awakening. Emotions don’t have to be so evil and scary; they are just energy. We are the ones who ascribe the labels of “good” and “bad” to our emotions.
    Even though we each have a unique experience with our emotions, emotions are a universal experience. When an emotion arises, everybody has the same choice. Everyone knows how to strengthen the old habits of anger, and everyone knows how to feel resentment and self-pity. We’re very good at it. But at the same time, you’re the only one having that emotion, and even though your friends and relatives might tell you what you’re thinking and feeling, actually you’re the only one who thinks those thoughts and feels those feelings. So each emotion is unique, and it doesn’t have to be called “good” or “bad” or anything at all. It’s just as it is.
    Take a few seconds to conjure up or get in touch with an unpleasant emotion. I would not recommend starting with something extremely traumatic! We all have totally incapacitating unpleasant memories or feelings. Get in touch with something along the lines of how miffed you were when someone took the last cookie. How upset you were when so-and-so interrupted you when you were talking. Begin with a mild irritation. By working with the “lightweight emotions,” we build up strength, just like working out at the gym. You start where you are, and then you work out and your strength grows. So by using lightweight emotions (irritation or mild anxiety), believe it or not, it’s building up your strength to work with really difficult emotions.
    exercise

    USING MEMORY AS A SUPPORT IN MEDITATION
    Sit for a minute and find a painful memory that you can use for this exercise. Maybe it is a memory of being criticized. Sometimes people use a memory or sometimes people use a visual image of something that provokes them.
    Next, find a pleasant emotion. Retrieve a memory or a visual image that evokes a pleasant emotion, such as being praised. Just for a moment, think of that. Have a memory or a visual image that feels positive.
    With a painful emotion and a pleasurable emotion in mind, begin your meditation session. Place your mind on the breath, first allowing your breath to be the support. Let your breath be your friend for training in being present. If your mind wanders off, which it usually does, just come back to the breath. Do that for a short time, perhaps five minutes, and then rest in the open awareness.
    Recall that anything can arise in space and be the object or support for your training. So now mentally fabricate or, using a memory or a visual, bring forward in your awareness the emotion that’s unpleasant and place your attention on the emotion. See if you can contact the texture of the feeling. If someone asked you to describe the feeling of the emotion, how would you describe it? Fully put your attention on the emotion itself, just as it is.
    Some people find it helpful to feel for the emotion’s temperature or texture, or its location in the body. For some people this is very easy; for others it is quite difficult. Just do your best to be present with the unpleasant emotion. Do that for a short time, and then once again rest in open awareness. If at any point your mind wanders off, gently bring it back without the labels of “right” and “wrong.” Often our emotions take us into the story or the thoughts. When the thoughts arise, notice them, notice the thinking, then bring yourself to the feeling of the emotion. There, in the immediacy of the emotion, feeling into it, lies the possibility of moving into openness and acceptance. You’ll find that this is quite liberating and eventually quite settling.
    I encourage you to get curious about your emotions and to allow yourself to go into them so you can experience this opening. This is how the heart opens. This is how compassion arises—compassion for oneself and compassion for others.
    Next, repeat the same exercise above, this time recalling a