Free Uncovering You 9: Liberation by Scarlett Edwards Page A

to predict. Not that Jeremy is one for sticking to definitions, but his lack of concern is frightening. It means that I will constantly have to be on my guard with him.
    It makes for a relationship that can be nothing but exhausting.
    If our shared past didn’t exist—if he’d never kidnapped me and subjected me to the horrors that Stonehart was capable of—if we had just met, say, exactly the way we told Fey and Thalia we had, would I still be here? Would I be with a man who is so utterly inconsistent?
    No.
    No, and that makes for the greatest irony of all. It’s not access to wealth or a lavish lifestyle that makes me endure. It’s not the amazing sex. It’s not even the promise of a future together, of marriage and children and—
    I stop short. Kids with Jeremy Stonehart? Utterly inconceivable.
    But anyway. What twists of logic, what sorts of fallacies must I harbor to understand and even accept that the reason that I feel so bound to Jeremy comes from the things he did to me in the dark?
    Strange, the way life goes sometimes.
    I need to put a stop to it, somehow. I need to put my foot down and tell him that treating me like a lab rat is unacceptable. Otherwise, every waking moment I spend around him will be like walking on eggshells. And that’s no way to live.
    Besides, shouldn’t I have some say over what happens to my body? Shouldn’t I be able to decide, for myself, what substances go down my throat?
    He drugged me to see if I would go to him. That is complete lunacy. It shows such striking lack of compassion. Such irreverent disregard for who I am. It can’t come from a man who claims to be in love with me.
    At least, not if that man were anyone but Jeremy Stonehart.
    From him, it somehow makes perfect sense.
    Maybe that’s my greatest flaw: the ability to continuously justify every little thing that Jeremy does. Am I still delusional? I have no qualms about saying that my desire for revenge has all but evaporated. Even with tonight’s earlier episode. Even with the quite literal slap in the face. Where could I go, if I did want to get away? The front door’s unlocked. The keys to his cars are where they always are. I can get into one and just drive away and away and away. All the way north to Alaska, or east and south, to the sweltering metropolis of Miami. I could become completely anonymous amongst the swarms of people there. Or I could lose myself in some abandoned cabin in the middle of the Great White Wilderness. I could be like Christopher McCandless from that movie, Into the Wild , living the rest of my life off the land until my final breath…
    But, no. Such a scenario does not sit well with me. It says nothing about who I am. And I’m sure that no matter where I go, no matter how well I hide, Jeremy will find me. He won’t just let me get away.
    Escape is impossible. Sometimes the binds of our psychology tie us together better than the strongest tethers.
    But none of that means I have to be a passive recipient of Jeremy’s treatment anymore.
    In fact, I refuse to be. The games are over. Experimentation is finished. No one can convince me otherwise.
    I just wish somebody could convince Jeremy.
    As always, I’m left on my own. It’s a challenge. Isn’t that the way I always wanted things, anyway? To be self-sufficient, not relying on anybody but myself?
    I’m more like Jeremy than I thought. He doesn’t believe in luck. And I believe in self-sufficiency.
    Aren’t those just two sides of the same coin?
    I yawn and turn back. On my way, I glimpse myself in a mirror. There’s just enough light to see my face. Jeremy was right. The swelling has completely faded. I don’t think there’s going to be a bruise. My right eye might be a little puffy in the morning, but other than that, I won’t be much worse for wear.
    Am I weak to accept Jeremy’s treatment of me without fighting back? I want to laugh. Me? Fight back? Physically ? Most men out there would be intimidated by Jeremy