Free Soul and Blade by Tara Brown Page B

cold.”
    Her husband’s movement to meet my gaze is the only thing that suggests he is even alive and breathing. “He was a beast of a man. No one ought to grow to that size.” His jaw barely moves with his words.
    Angie grabs my hand, squeezing it once. I remind myself I need to see this as a mission and I need to keep my cool.
    “I’m sure the wedding will be lovely, having the ocean on either side of you.” Dash tries to end the conversation.
    “That is some wind they get there,” I add. Silence falls at my comment and we sit, letting the staff push our chairs in for us.
    “And of course this is Silas and Darlene Noble. They’ve come to escape the rain for a few weeks.” Dash’s mother points at the couple at the other end of the table, a younger and more posh-looking couple than the old snooty ones to my right.
    I wave awkwardly as Angie extends a hand. “Very nice to meet ya.”
    “And this is my future daughter-in-law, Jane Spears. And her very dear friend Dr. Angela O’Conner, a colleague of Benjamin’s. We have known Angela for some time.”
    Everyone greets us as warmly as they are able.
    I don’t know what to expect from any of them except Dash’s parents, so I don’t say anything else.
    His father decides dinner for us all. We drink the wine he orders, but only after he spends ages discussing the entire event with the sommelier. It feels like something they could have discussed before we all arrived.
    Dash laughs and jokes, getting more British as the wine is served.
    Angie fits in perfectly, even keeping her fucks and twats and ochs in check.
    I am the odd man out, as always. I almost wish Henry were here to sneak me red wine so I didn’t have to suffer through the courses of wine I am being served. Of course then he would make weird passes at me but at least it would have filled the time.
    Henry?
    How odd that he called my phone.
    I excuse myself to the washroom after the palate-cleansing lime sorbet following the third course.
    As might be expected, even the restaurant’s bathroom is posh, filled with luxurious items for the use of anyone who might need them. I can’t help but shake my head at them all. The face cream on the counter costs more than the rent at my first apartment.
    I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if I will ever fit in.
    My brain doesn’t even whisper the no; it screams it and begs me to run away as fast as I am able in the huge heels. I suspect every version of me worries this is a mind run and not real. No orphan ends up the way I have.
    But my heart whispers about hope and Dash being someone else when he is away from them. It whispers that if I’d had a family who loved me all, I might have ended up in a life like this one. Maybe it’s destiny.
    Unfortunately the words Dash spoke in the limo haunt me. They are the ones telling me that this is not my life.
    When the door handle rattles, I jump, realizing I must not have locked it. “I’m in here, it’s occupied .” I reach for the door, but Dash pushes his way in, closing it behind him and locking it. “We need to talk.”
    I look beyond him at the door and plot the ways in which I can get past him. Reaching behind me for the fifty-dollar hair spray seems like the least painful way to do it. I don’t want to kill him, and probably not maim him. Maybe just stun or knock him out.
    He steps forward carefully, maybe checking to see how angry I am. “I didn’t mean what I said.”
    “Yes, you did.”
    He winces. “I did, but not in the way you think.”
    “Yes, you did.” My words are a whisper and not nearly as brave as they ought to be.
    “No, Jane, I didn’t.” His green-gray eyes have gone darker, the way they always do when he’s upset about something, and he furrows his brow to shade them. “I honestly just said it like a jerk and didn’t mean it. The moment I said it, I froze. I couldn’t believe I could be so rude to you.”
    “You’re angry with me.” I say it so he doesn’t have to;