Free The Mind Connection: How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior, and Decisions by Joyce Meyer Page B

to me, and that could be different from what they are saying. People who are insecure or in emotional pain are often afraid to reveal their honest needs, so they communicate more vaguely. They hope we will read between the lines, so to speak. They want us to know them and what they need, but they are so fearful of rejection that they will not communicate in a straightforward manner. The only way that we will really “hear” them is if we are listening with our spiritual ears as well as with the ears on our head.
    Jesus perceived many things about people that were not obvious to others because He had this gift of awareness. He noticed people that were hurting and He always took time to stop and help them. When we take time to help people, or to genuinely listen to them, it makes them feel valuable.
    Jesus noticed a crippled man lying beside a pool of water waiting for a miracle—this man had been there thirty-eight years. Jesus stopped to talk with him and offer help, but I wonder how many others had passed by during those long years, neither noticing the crippled man nor caring to help (see John 5).
    Jesus taught us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves, andHe told a story to help us understand what this means. A man had been beaten and robbed and was left to die on the side of the road. Two religious men saw him but passed by on the other side of the street. Have you ever crossed the street, or avoided an aisle in the store, so you could purposely avoid someone with an unpleasant circumstance simply because you didn’t want to get involved? More than likely, the answer is yes. One man did stop to help and used his time and money to make sure the man was nursed back to health and Jesus said that he was the only one who truly showed love for the man (see Luke 10:27–36).
    If you wouldn’t want to be friends with you, then start changing. Give to others what you hope to get. One of the spiritual laws that we are taught in God’s Word is that we reap what we sow (see Galatians 6:7). How exciting is that? If we want to gain something, all we need to do is give it to others and it will eventually come back to us. Look at life like a wheel and realize that what you put on the wheel comes back around to you eventually. When we are born again, Jesus gives us a new beginning. Through a relationship with Him, we can learn how to put things on the wheel of life that we actually want to come back to us.
    I am not saying that if I am rude to someone one time that it will come back to me. Thankfully, we can apologize and ask for forgiveness and take things off the wheel, but if I continually mistreat other people, it will come back to me. Dave and I have often teased about the wheel principle. If I am just being playful and throw a wet towel at him, he says, “You just put it on the wheel and you know what that means.” Before the day is out I can expect a wet towel to be thrown at me! I know how the wheel principle works, and I want to keep it in mind when I am dealing with people in relationships. I want to give them what I want given back to me.
    I frequently run into people who are lonely, but after beingaround them a short period of time I know why. They talk about themselves and their problems incessantly, and their general attitude toward life, work, the government, church, themselves, and other people is all negative and grumpy. They even have a semifrown on their faces and lots of facial and body language that lets the world know they are dissatisfied individuals. I admit that I don’t enjoy being around them, and they don’t have a positive influence on me. I don’t feel better after being with them, but I do feel drained. These types of negative people are also generous with criticism. Dale Carnegie, author of the well-known book
How to Win Friends and Influence People
, said, “Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do.” 1
    If I don’t enjoy being around people who are bitter and