Free Beautiful Nightmares (The Asylum Trilogy) by Lauren Hammond Page B

the crack into the office.
     
    And here I thought Dr. Swell was smart.
     
    She’s not as smart as she thinks she is because if she was, I’m sure she’d remember to lock her door.
     
    It’s not like that was going to stop me anyway, but still. In a mental hospital, you never know when a crazy patient might get loose and try to get her hands on her medical file.

 
     
    Chapter Sixteen
     
    ~Before~
     
     
    Sanity is a funny word.
    Sanity.
    Sanity.
    To be sane. To have clear thoughts. To be able to distinguish the difference from fantasy and reality.
    I used to think that my sanity was still intact.
    That all my marbles were still in the bag.
    That I would never…
    EVER…
    Let Oakhill get the best of me.
    Now, I’m not so sure. Now I’m not sure if I really am sane or insane.
    I don’t understand how I ended up back at Oak Hill
    I’m still trying to process everything. I’m still trying to figure out where I belong. And I’m still trying to figure out how I ended up back at Oak Hill a second time when I can barely remember being here the first.
    I am not right…
    In the head.
    I am not right.
    But I’ve learned to cope with the delusion.
    I can’t keep the screams of the patients from piercing my ears, but I’ve learned to tune them out. I can’t put a stop to the sadistic torture that takes place here at Oakhill, but I’ve learned to be a helping hand.
    I can’t bring the dead back to life, but I can learn how to cope with my grief.
    All in all, this whole situation feels too strange to describe.
    I feel like I’m here, but not here at the same time.
     
    Dr.Watson has me by the elbow and he’s escorting me back to my room while I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that just happened. I am married. Dr. Watson is my husband. I gave birth to his child. Our child. Lights flicker overhead dancing along the neutral toned walls and my eyes drop to the floor.
    I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about all of this. About the revelation that was just unveiled to me. Part of me wonders if Dr. Watson is telling the truth. Then again, why would he lie about something like being married to me? And, if we are really married how could he send me here? How could he just toss me aside like waste and allow the staff here to treat me the way I’ve been treated? Did he have a choice? By following me here is that how he’s showing his love for me?
    We come to a halt in front of the door to my cell and Dr. Watson releases the grip on my elbow. I can’t look at him. I can’t face the truth. I want to go back in time to where I was delusional.
    Soft fingers brush against my cheek and blood floods my cheeks. My face is hot, on fire, all from a simple fleck of fingertips. That has to mean something, right? “I know everything that just happened is a lot to process,” Dr. Watson murmurs. “I know you’re probably confused.”
    Confused is an understatement. I’ve never felt so torn in my entire life. It’s almost like I’m road kill and the ravenous crows are picking me apart piece by piece and feeding on my flesh. “Dr. Watson, I—”
    He places two fingers against my lips. “Not tonight,” he says. “No more thinking tonight. You need to rest.” I lift my head and lock eyes with him, meeting his heated gaze. “I’ll come for you in the morning.”
    “But what about Dr.Morrow?” If the man had a grudge against me before that grudge has twisted and morphed into something close to full blown hatred.
    “Don’t worry about Dr. Morrow,” he reassures me. “You will never have to deal with him ever again.”
    “Thank you.”
    He nods then turns to walk away. “Goodnight Adelaide.” He stops and looks over his shoulder. “I love you.”
    I open the door to my room and offer him a sad smile. It crushes my heart to hear him say those three words. Such beautiful, haunting, and moving words. I can’t say them back and that makes me feel even worse. Those words are sacred and I know that