Free Awaken to Danger by Catherine Mann Page B

feel you did a really scumbag thing a
    few months ago doesn't mean I believe you're an actual scumbag."
    "Thanks." Sort of.
    "But while we're on the subject of that really scumbag thing you did for which you have finally apologized
    but never explained..." She dumped another load of pine straw, her face averted a little too conveniently
    to be coincidence.
    "Noticed that, did you?" He leaned on the rake, taking in the overstiff brace of her shoulders and wanting
    to kick his own ass.
    "Tough not to notice." She slumped back against the tree, hands behind her. "So why did you walk out
    the door and never bother to call? Or better yet, why did you invite me through your door in the first
    place?"
    And into his bed. That much, at least, he remembered along with the feel of her bare chest against his as
    they'd tumbled onto the mattress. He'd just lost most of the parts between bed and waking up. The good
    parts, stolen by a drunken blackout. Finding Nikki naked next to him in the morning and knowing he'd
    broken her trust, her father's trust and his own code of honor made him realize he'd bottomed out.
    He'd rolled his sorry, hungover butt off the mattress and found an Alcoholics Anonymous chapter. A.A.
    meetings had saved his life. Slowly, he was regaining his self-respect.
    One day at a time. Never take it for granted.
    "Why did I go to bed with you?" The truth wouldn't hurt any worse. He flattened a hand to the tree
    beside her head and let what he was thinking and feeling show for the first time in...he couldn't remember
    when. "Because I really wanted to be there, for a long time, almost from the first time I saw you. You
    were legal, but damn, you were young. And on that day, I was truly too much of a scumbag to stay away
    —"
    "Stop." She clapped a hand to his mouth.
    "Stop?" Speaking felt too much like kissing her hand, which messed with his head more than any drink.
    "I've changed my mind." Her hand trembled. "I don't want to hear this tonight. I want to rake leaves and
    talk like we used to." Her hand fell away.
    Her soft touch lingered, a simple caress when they'd shared far more overtly sexual touches and still he
    went stone hard, wanting her so much his teeth hurt. "Before you realized I'm a scumbag?"
    "Yeah."
    Wasn't that what he'd wanted as well in coming here tonight? So go. Leave. "Do you think you can really
    forget what I did that night?"
    "I can forget for an evening."
    Less than he'd hoped for but more than he deserved. "Fair enough."
    Since she didn't move away he let himself keep staring into her eyes. What could happen outside in her
    parents' front yard while traffic inched past? Branches rustled overhead raining more pine straw around
    them, some catching in her hair. He lifted his hand and still she didn't move away, apparently as caught in
    this insanity as he was. He swept his fingers over her head. Silky strands. So damn soft that before he
    knew it he'd cupped the base of her skull.
    Her pupils went wide, her gray eyes stormier still until he could have sworn the sun was sinking faster. So
    easily he could urge her closer. Or step forward. Or hell, just lean and taste her because it killed him,
    absolutely freaking killed him, that he only had spotty recollections of what happened between them that
    night.
    He would give anything to have at least the memory of those lost hours. Although he suspected
    remembering would torment him even more.
    The front door blasted open a second ahead of her brother Chris loping through onto the porch. "Mom
    sent me out to ask if Carson would like to stay for supper?"
    A mom probably smart enough to realize things needed breaking up out front before he snapped the thin
    thread of Nikki's returning trust.
    Carson backed away, shoving his hands in his pockets. He didn't deserve that trust, but he would be
    damned if he would abuse it again. As much as he wanted to climb those steps and hang out with this
    awesomely normal family and listen to Nikki's even more