We'll Always Have Summer
Behrs. It doesn’t feel right.”
    “If this is because I’m the girl and you’re the guy … ,”
    I began.
    “That’s not it, dude. I’m just saying, why should you have to work this hard when I have money in my savings account?”
    “I thought we said we were going to do this on our own.”
    “I’ve been doing some Internet research, and it looks like it’s going to be a lot more expensive than we thought. Even if we go really simple, we still have to pay for food and drinks and flowers. We’re only getting married once, Belly.”
    “True.”
    “My mom would want to contribute. Right?”
    “I guess… .” Susannah would want to do more than contribute. She’d want to be there every step of the way—dress shopping, deciding on the flowers and food, all of it. She’d want to do it up. I always pictured her there we’ll always have summer · 93
    on my wedding day, sitting next to my mom, wearing a fancy hat. It was a really nice picture.
    “So let’s let her contribute. Besides, you’re gonna get really busy with wedding-planning stuff with Taylor. I’ll help as much as I can, but I still have to be at work from nine to five. When you call caterers and flower people or whatever, that’ll have to be during the day, and I won’t be able to be there.”
    I was really impressed that he’d thought of all this. I liked this other side of him, thinking ahead, worrying about my health. I had just been complaining about cal-luses on my feet too.
    “Let’s talk more about it after we tell our parents,” I told him.
    “Are you still nervous?”
    I’d been trying not to think about it too much. At Behrs, I focused all my energy on delivering bread baskets and refilling drinks and cutting slices of cheesecake.
    In a way, I was glad to be working double shifts, because it kept me out of the house and away from my mother’s watchful eye. I hadn’t worn my engagement ring since I’d been home. I only pulled it out at night, in my room.
    I said, “I’m scared, but I’ll be relieved to finally have it out in the open. I hate keeping things from my mom.”
    “I know,” he said.
    I looked at the clock. It was twelve thirty. “We’re gonna leave early tomorrow morning, so I should prob-94 · jenny han
    ably go to sleep.” I hesitated before asking, “Are you driving up with just your dad? What’s the deal with Conrad?”
    “I have no clue. I haven’t talked to him. I think he’s flying in tomorrow. We’ll see if he even shows.”
    I wasn’t sure if it was disappointment I was feeling or relief. Probably both. “I doubt he’ll come,” I said.
    “You never know with Con. He might come, he might not.” Then he added, “Don’t forget to bring your ring.”
    “I won’t.”
    Then we said good night, and it was a long time before I could fall asleep. I think I was afraid. Afraid that he was coming and afraid that he wasn’t.
    we’ll always have summer · 95

Chapter Nineteen
    I was up before the alarm; I was showered with my new dress on before Steven was even awake. I was the first one in the car.
    My dress was lavender silk chiffon. It had a tight bod-ice and narrow straps and a floaty skirt, the kind you’d spin around in like a girl in a musical. Something Kim MacAfee might wear. I’d seen it in a store window in February, when it was still too cold to wear it without stockings. Stockings would ruin it. I’d used my father’s for-emergencies-only card, the one I’d never used before. It had stayed in my closet all this time, still covered in plastic.
    When my mother saw me, she burst into a smile and said, “You look beautiful. Beck would love this dress.”
    Steven said, “Not bad,” and I gave them both a little curtsy. It was just that kind of dress.
    My mother drove, and I sat in front. Steven slept in the backseat, his mouth open. He was wearing a button-down shirt and khaki pants. My mother looked nice too in her navy pantsuit and cream pumps.
    “Conrad’s definitely coming

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