before, hadn’t he? He’d tiptoed along the edge and it’d cost him so, so much.
A price he couldn’t ever pay again.
Because he didn’t want to claim her as his because she belonged to him. He wanted to claim her because he cared for her. Already.
And perhaps it was more than simply caring.
How stupid was he to think he could have a fire , but not feel for her.
He was deluded.
His cock told him he didn’t give a fuck about his emotional state, it was still unsated.
“Joce?” Confusion marred her features, her brow lowered and pinched. “What’s wrong?”
How could he explain when he wasn’t sure himself? He just knew these feelings were wrong. He shouldn’t have them. They led to heartache and pain and he refused to lose himself once more.
“Joce?” Kate pushed to her elbows and then eased farther until she sat upright in the middle of the bed. She crawled to the edge, wincing once she threw her legs over the side. When she glanced at the juncture of her thighs, he saw the still-bleeding puncture marks.
They would continue bleeding until…
“You,” he rasped and cleared his throat. “You need to lick your palm and rub it on the wound. Otherwise it won’t stop bleeding. We have a natural coagulant in our—”
She shot him a glare, reminding him she probably knew that. “And you can’t help me because?”
Because he was a coward?
Because he couldn’t trust himself with her?
Because he couldn’t afford to trust anyone ?
Because it hurt too much to care?
Yes. All of the above.
“Katherine, I…” he sighed and ran a hand over his skull. His hair had grown a little, the short strands pricking his palm. “I’m sorry.” He looked to her, hoping she could see his regret. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this life. I’m sorry I Changed you. I’m sorry… I’m just sorry.”
He quieted, not saying another word, waiting for her response.
“You’re sorry? I don’t know what that means to us, to me. You act like you don’t… want…” The knowledge finally showed in her expression and her shattering heart was like a physical blow to his soul. “I see.”
“I’m—”
“Sorry. I know.” Her voice was soft, barely more than a whisper. “I heard you.” She shook her head. “But I’m your fire . What does sorry mean for us?”
He ignored the way her breath hitched at the word fire. “I’ll still be available to feed you and I hope that you will still,” he swallowed hard and pulled his attention from her. “I hope that you will still feed me.”
And he hoped he wouldn’t be drowned in his feelings for her each time.
Love was dangerous.
Trust was dangerous.
“I don’t understand.” She shook her head for the millionth time and it tore at his heart.
“You do understand. This was a mistake and it’s one we’ll both have to live with. For now, while the bond is new, we’ll feed from each other. We can explore alternative food sources later.” He took a deep breath, savoring the scent of her blood and sex permeating the air. He’d miss those flavors, the taste and smell of her desire. “You can stay here and I’ll find different rooms in the mansion or Carac can set you up in one of the vacant suites.”
“That’s it.” Her voice sounded hollow to his ears.
“That’s it.” It had to be. He couldn’t handle destroying the woman he loved twice in a lifetime. “That’s it.”
“You bastard,” she hissed, seething rage filling her eyes. “You fucking asshole .”
He couldn’t stomach the weight of her rage and diverted his attention from her eyes. “You’re still bleeding.”
She sucked in a harsh breath and a moment later her palm smacked against her inner thigh and she roughly rubbed the bite. He hated that she was so harsh with her own body, but he didn’t get to say anything any longer, did he? Which meant he swallowed his admonishing words.
“There, now I won’t bleed to death while I leave you,” she snarled and pushed to her