Free Winter Blues by Jade Goodmore Page A

need to have had sex to know that the line we drew in our vows has been crossed. I feel sick with guilt, or perhaps that’s the tequila. Either way, I am racing home, toward the bathroom, away from Blue and our stupid mistake and leaving Reid trailing behind me.
    “Will you just stop!” he yells, as we turn onto our street.
    “No!”
    “Darlene!” he calls, and yet I continue to ignore him. Racing into the elevator before Reid has even entered our building, I punch our floor number until the doors close. I just about make out Reid’s flustered face as he turns the corner.
    I use the short seconds that it takes for the elevator to ascend to manage my breathing. Conflicting emotions tear through my mind and my body and I’m failing pathetically at controlling any of them. I haven’t cried in years and I’m certainly not going to allow them to come now. I don’t deserve the relief that comes with tears. I will suffer in silence for what I have done to us. I can only hope that Reid will respond the same way. I don’t want to talk about my mighty error so I can’t expect Reid to discuss his.
    As soon as the elevator doors open I see Reid racing over the last few steps of the stairwell. He looks so pissed, so intent on meeting me at our door that I know that my hope for jointly feigning ignorance is void. The last thing I want is to discuss this, but judging by the look on Reid’s face that is exactly what I am going to be doing.
     
     
     
                 

 
     
     
    10
    Reid
     
    “What the fuck was that?” I pant, but she shakes her head as she passes by without even looking at me. “Why did you run from me?” I continue as I stalk after her. “Why won’t you talk?”
    When she reaches our door she stops, turns and snatches her bag from under my arm. She scrambles in the deep pit of it like she’s picking for a raffle when really she is looking for her keys. She can’t find them. Of course not, because she doesn’t have them.
    “Looking for your keys? You didn’t take them, just like you didn’t take your damn phone. AGAIN!” My normal restraint used to tone down my anger is missing and so my voice is much louder than either of us expects. I remove her keys from my pocket, jangling them pointedly before unlocking and opening the door. I storm in before Darlene, slamming the keys on the kitchen counter. Every action or movement screams how angered I am, as if the frustration I have held back for so long has merely been growing in strength.
    She stomps past me, looking to hide in the comfort of her chair. Not this time. We can’t keep ignoring what is happening between us. She pushes me away for weeks and then does a complete u-turn, dressing up in her ‘fuck me’ dress and cooking my favorite meal. She’s gone all out with candles, food, and music and I know damn well that it’s not a birthday or anniversary. I understand that she’s pissed it got spoiled but can’t she see that it wasn’t intentional? I would never have taken so long talking to James had I known that this was what was waiting for me.
    “What was all this for?” I ask, nodding toward the dining table.
    “It’s nothing . Clearly it wasn’t important,” she replies, blankly. Her mask is threatening to slip back on but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it.
    “Clearly it was. You know I didn’t see it, right?”
              “It really doesn’t matter anymore.” She’s removed her shoes and now she’s walking back to me, to the kitchen.
    “Stop saying that! It obviously matters, Darlene, or you would never have gone to the effort. ” She bites back whatever she is going to say, instead choosing to reach for a glass and fill it with water before taking a sip. “Look, I’m sorry, okay?” I say, managing to lower my voice a little. “But you didn’t need to run away, again.”
    She turns to leave the kitchen, muttering over her shoulder. “I didn’t run away, I just, I needed to