Free Wet by Ruth Clampett Page B

.”
    “I don’t like to be called that.”
    “And there is nothing junior about me—so we’re even.”
    “I really enjoyed meeting your family.”
    “I bet.”
    “They’re very colorful. And your parents are so sweet with each other. How long have they been married?”
    “This year will be thirty-six years.”
    “Wow . . . and they still love each other.”
    “Isn’t that the idea?”
    “Sure, in a perfect world.”
    “Well, they put up with each other.”
    “You’re such a romantic, Paul.”
    “Well I’m more romantic than Patrick, but believe me, that isn’t saying much. Is it true he was giving you tax advice when he should’ve been kissing you against your car?”
    She sighs. “Tax advice . . . yes, that was so sweet. And he offered to come clean out my rain gutters.”
    I huff. “His dating skills are impressive.”
    “Do you even begin to understand how sexy a man who is handy is to a busy woman like me?”
    “Well, I’m handy, too. I’m handy as hell.”
    She moans. “Well if you keep teasing me like this, I’ll start breaking things around here just to get you to come by.”
    I laugh uncomfortably because I sense she really might do that and I know I’m playing with fire.

Chapter Five
    THE SIDEWAYS SAMBA
    J im catches me in the parking lot at the church. “Hey, Paul.”
    I nod his way. “Jim.”
    “Good to see you here. So how are things with that woman? Have you been able to avoid her?”
    “I haven’t gone to her house in ten days.”
    “Okay, that’s good. Have you talked to her?”
    I turn my car keys over in my hands. “Yeah.”
    “How do you feel when you’ve talked to her? Is the desire less intense, or more?”
    “I can’t say less. I’ll doubt I’ll ever say less when it comes to her, but I’m keeping my promise to myself.”
    “Good.” Jim nods and unfolds his arms from his chest.
    “And she’s still doing Tinder so that’s a big fucking red flag.”
    “Yes it is, my man. Yes it is.”
     
    That evening I wonder who else Elle has hooked up with. Or maybe Stephan ‘the architect’ was her dream man giving her multiple mind-blowing orgasms. Will sex be her salvation, or her downfall like it was for me?
    I pick up the phone and press her name on my contact list, only to put it down again, releasing a long sigh.
    A second later the damn phone rings and I look down and see it’s her. The timing is so weird that there’s no way I’m not going to answer it.
    “Elle?”
    “Hi, Paulie.”
    “What’s up?”
    “I need you.”
    There’s a long pause as my mind flings about every single scenario those three works imply. Yet in my heart I know this woman . . . she’s teasing me.
    I’m not going to make it easy on her.
    “How badly do you need me?”
    “So badly,” she says with a breathy gasp. “I may come undone unless you can take care of me.”
    “What do you need from me exactly?”
    “I’m in the dark, Paulie. I thought you could give me light.”
    “Do you care to elaborate? ‘Cause if this is depression, I can’t say I’m your man.”
    She scoffs. “Depression? No, I have a burned-out light bulb.”
    I’d be pissed if it were anyone but flirty Elle. “So you need me to change a light bulb? Are you screwing with me?”
    “No, I’m not, and once you see how heavy the light fixture is you’ll understand. Besides if you came over to change the damn thing, I could be screwing with you. This light fixture is right over the bed, and you should know that I’m someone who likes to leave the light on. I want to see everything.”
    “Everything?”
    “Oh yeah.”
    Naturally that makes her Tinder escapades pop into my head. “So how did things go with Stephan? Was he a freak like the others?”
    “Actually, not at all. He’s a gentleman.”
    “Good in bed?” My hand tightens over the phone. I’m desperately hoping she says they didn’t get that far.
    “Really good, actually. Very attentive.”
    “Great,” I respond with the most