Free Last Light by M. Pierce Page B

he couldn’t wait.
    “My life will never be the same,” he said. “I’ll never be free.”
    I ran the shower too hot and hissed when the water hit my skin. Unwelcome thoughts kept cropping up—Shapiro, Snow—but I tried to focus on Matt. Shave, he said. I lathered pear-scented gel over my legs and began to work a razor around my ankles.
    I shaved before the memorial and my legs were smooth, but Matt liked me velvety. He liked one particular area bare.
    My thoughts clouded as I shaved over my knees and up my thighs to my sex. Lord, Matt even made shaving sexy.
    Shave. It was an order. I loved taking orders from Matt.
    I imagined him lying along the couch by the fire, nothing but a throw draped across his hips … and I dragged my razor over my pubic bone, shearing away the short, stiff hair.
    I felt light-headed by the time I stepped out of the shower. I patted my skin dry and rubbed in my DollyMoo lilac body oil. Another thing Matt liked: rubbing oil into my skin.
    I pulled on Matt’s bathrobe, which reached my feet and smelled of his body wash, and a black lace thong. I fetched my box of toys from the closet.
    The box held two LELOs, toy cleaner, three kinds of lube, the collar with clamps that we first used at Matt’s apartment, a blindfold, silk ties, a gag, and a roll of black tape. Matt sometimes joked about adding a leash or riding crop to the box.
    Or maybe he wasn’t joking …
    I lit the candles on the bedside table and sprawled across our comforter. I dialed Matt’s number. He answered immediately.
    “You,” he said.
    “Me.” I smiled. “And you.”
    “Did you have a nice shower?”
    “Very.” I caught the first whiff of my candles—sandalwood and jasmine. Their light pulsed on the ceiling. “It was only missing you. I think this place misses you.”
    “Soon we’ll be together. And before long, we can live together again. When things die down … we’ll get a place. Now you’ll have my money, or some of it. That’s one less worry.”
    “Yeah…” I shoved away the thought of the money. Truth be told, Matt and I had no idea what our future held. We didn’t plan that far ahead. Sometimes he talked like this, idly and optimistically, and I agreed because the alternative was painful.
    “What are you wearing?” he said.
    “Your bathrobe and a black lace thong.”
    Matt chuckled. My smile expanded at the sound.
    “Very nice. Let the robe hang open. Déjà vu, little bird. Do you remember—”
    “Of course.” I reclined against a stack of decorative pillows. Matt’s robe slipped open, exposing my breasts. My nipples stiffened instantly and my skin prickled with anticipation. “The first time, online? You must have thought I was crazy.”
    “No crazier than I was. Granted, I thought I was pretty fucking crazy.”
    “What if I had been someone else?” I slid my fingers over the slope of my breast.
    “You weren’t. This is our reality, Hannah. I don’t have time for what-ifs. You shaved?”
    “Yes.” I smiled again. I loved the way Matt dismissed things out of hand—always with ice in his voice. I don’t have time for what-ifs.
    “Where? What did you shave?”
    “My legs.”
    “What else?”
    “My—” My cheeks warmed. “My pussy.”
    “Mm.” Matt sighed roughly. “Touch it for me. I miss it.”
    I slipped my hand into my thong, over the soft bare hill of skin. Matt missed this. I remembered his mouth between my legs and circled my fingers around the wet folds.
    “Tell me what you’re doing,” I whispered, “and where you are. I want to know.”
    He laughed and I felt the color rising in my face.
    “Okay, bird. I’m lying on the bed. You know, in the bedroom—the one whose windows face east. I keep it warm in here. I’m not wearing anything.” Matt paused for a beat and I envisioned his firm, naked body. My sex throbbed under my fingers. “That’s how I want to be with you, Hannah. Nothing between us … your body and mine.”
    I moaned softly and spread