Free Castle Cay by Lee Hanson Page A

them. Wrong. It was
strictly grab n’ go in the Soldano household on weekdays.
    “Phew!” said Joan, as Pete, the last to
leave, went out through the garage door, mobile-coffee-cup in hand.
“What a zoo, huh?”
    “They could use you at Starbucks,” said
Julie, waving goodbye to Pete as she entered the kitchen from the
garage.
    She had just come in from walking Paul and
Pete, Jr. out front to the street. She had carried her coffee with
her. Warming her hands on the mug, she had leaned against the
Malibu and watched the boys as they walked down the steep little
hill to their bus stop at the bottom. Julie could see the river
through the trees, sparkling in the sun. When the school bus picked
up the boys, she’d gone back in the house.
    Now the two women settled down in peace at
the kitchen table.
    “It’s so good to see you, Julie. I’ve thought
of you so much over the years.”
    “I should have called,” said Julie, looking
down at the table. “I’m sorry, Joannie. There’s really no excuse.
In the beginning, after Dan died…”
    “Julie, it’s all right,” said Joan,
interrupting. “I understand. You don’t have to explain
anything.”
    “No. I want to,” said Julie. “It’s time I
did.” She took a breath and continued.
    “After Dan died, I couldn’t bear to see
anybody or talk about it. I couldn’t face his family, our friends.
If Marc hadn’t been so dogged…so persistent…I probably would have
cut him off, too. Over time…well…it was just easier to keep it that
way.
    “The truth is…I’m responsible for Dan’s
death.”
    “But that’s absurd, Julie! From what I know,
you nearly drowned yourself trying to save him!”
    “No. Dan drowned because I didn’t get to him
fast enough.” To Julie’s chagrin, a tear spilled over and ran down
her cheek.
    Joan reached across the table with some
napkins, and took her hand. “Honey, here… listen to me. It wasn’t
your fault.”
    “It was…it was,” said Julie, sniffing.
    “Sh-h, now,” said Joan. “Something you should
know, Julie. I’ve been to that island.”
    Julie looked at her, surprised.
    “That’s right. It was after you moved to
Florida. Milt and Miriam offered it to Pete and me for our
honeymoon. The fact is we were broke, so we took it gladly.
    “Anyhow, what you need to know is that we
rode over to the eastern shore. We stood on that very point! And
I’m telling you, Hon, we could see that rip current clearly. Pete
threw a branch in, and it took it out in a flash! It’s a wonder you
didn’t die, too, jumping in there after him like that.”
    “I dove in right away, but I didn’t swim,
Joan. That’s what I did wrong: I didn’t swim. The current
was so fast; it seemed faster than I could swim. I thought it would
take me to him, but it was moving Dan at the same speed! I should
have been swimming as strong as I could, like walking fast on the
moving walkway at the airport. I did the wrong thing .”
    “Julie…honey…how could you possibly have
known what to do? It was a freak situation, a split second
decision. Besides, have you ever considered the possibility that
Dan drowned before you ever dove into the water?”
    It was a simple thought:
    Dan was dead the whole time.
    Julie had suppressed that horrible, simple
thought during her rescue attempt. Afterward, she had blocked it to
make sense of her foolhardy action. It was crystal clear now that
she had run away from anyone who might make her face the truth
about it. But time had done its job. In fact, Julie felt as if a
great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
    “Julie?”
    “Yes,” she said. “You’re right, Joan. Dan was probably dead when he washed out of that cave. I just
couldn’t face that years ago. You’re a good friend. Thank you for
being so direct.”
    Okay, enough, thought Julie,
emotionally spent. I can’t talk about this anymore. With a
final sigh, she squeezed Joan’s hand and changed the subject. “I
apologize for my absence