Free Dreamlands by Felicitas Ivey Page B

dull.”
    “You….”
    “Yes, Sakura-chan?”
    I felt hot, and I knew I was blushing again. “You have given me a lot. I would never consider you dull.”
    He looked at me thoughtfully as I poured him more saké. He said nothing, and I felt my stomach starting to slowly roll over. It was the familiar mixture of fear and curiosity I felt around him. I was certain that tonight, that was going to happen. My fear must have shown in my eyes because Samojirou looked concerned.
    “You may enjoy it,” he said softly. “I told you that I had no taste for pain in my bed.”
    “I understand, Samojirou-sama,” I murmured.
    We couldn’t say much because the performance started again.
    Even as I watched the actors perform below me, I was very conscious of Samojirou and those two strange samurai watching us.

    I WAS half asleep when we arrived home, the saké I consumed making everything seem out of focus. I drank more than I should have because of being nervous about this moment. Samojirou wasn’t surprised to see Yukiko waiting in his rooms to help me undress. She managed to help me out of most of my kimonos, makeup, and the hair ornaments. I just stood there, and she did all the work. She scurried away when Samojirou strode in the room, dressed only in his fundoshi . I just stared at him, my mind too tired to think. I started shivering when he smiled.
    “Keno, I know that you are tired.”

    59

    DREAMLANDS
    “You own me,” I muttered.
    “You are still frightened?” he asked.
    “I don’t… don’t laugh… I don’t know what to do,” I cried. “It―”
    “I know that you were sheltered and those fools abused you,” he said. “Just relax.”
    His reassurances made me shiver harder, and I was visibly shaking. Samojirou frowned and tugged me over to the futon. He carefully undid the cord that held my last kimono together and slipped the garment off. We were wearing only underwear now. Samojirou leaned over and kissed me; he felt very warm. I let him control me. He was used to this. I seldom kissed him back or fought what he was doing. Samojirou didn’t end our kiss until I stopped shaking. It was hard not to be frightened. He was aroused, and I didn’t think he was going to be satisfied with a few touches tonight. The saké I had drunk had suddenly gone straight to my head, and I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. But if I closed them, the room started spinning.
    “Sakura… Keno, was that distasteful?” he asked.
    “It’s going to hurt,” I blurted out. “I don’t want that with you. It hurts, and everyone tells me that you won’t hurt me, but it’s not like I can say no.”
    “You can say no,” he said gently.
    I started crying. I didn’t believe him. Samojirou hugged me, and I curled up on his lap crying, eventually winding down into hiccups. I cried myself to sleep, feeling stupid and childish the entire time.

    FELICITAS IVEY
    60

    SAMOJIROU

    I SHOULD have known Keno was still frightened of me, or at least of sexual relations. Since he had been reduced to tears at the end of the evening, I hoped he was just overwhelmed by the saké and the excitement of leaving the estate. I had known Inukawa and Inusuka would be there. It was time that my Keno was introduced into our society. I couldn’t keep him sheltered from his family forever.
    The Dreamlands were vast, covering many lands and civilizations. My lady’s lands held several small villages filled with peasants to till the land. Scattered around Nippon were cities, mostly small, but a few larger ones, like Edo or Osaka, served as neutral ground for those who played the Game. I had escorted Tamazusa to them many times over the centuries, for plots she had woven. I had also enjoyed the theaters and other places of entertainment there. I was looking forward to showing Keno off in them. While I might not be able to leave the Dreamlands, I was able to travel freely throughout Nippon and beyond, stepping lightly from one shadow to another. It