Free Double Fudge by Judy Blume Page A

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    "I'm pleasant and respectful," Fudge said, munching away. "Right?"
    "Oh yeah," I told him. "You're the most pleasant and respectful person ever."
    He laughed and when he did, half of the chewed up rice cake inside his mouth wound up on the floor. Turtle lapped it up like it was the world's best treat.
    Grandma suggested Fudge try to keep his food in his mouth but Fudge told her, "Turtle loves chewed-up food. Look ..." And he let another mouthful go.
    "That's enough, Fudge," Grandma said. "Finish your rice cake, then tell me all about Washington."
    "You mean Fudgington?" he asked. That's when I took off for my room. Turtle padded down the hall after me. I stopped to have a look at Uncle Feather.
    "How's it going?" I asked, standing right in front of his cage. He looked at me but he didn't say anything. So I said, "Bonjour, stupid." That's one of his favorite expressions. Once you get him started on that one, forget it. You can't turn him off. But this time, instead of repeating it over and over, he scratched his head with his foot.
    "What's your problem?" I asked. "Did you miss us? Is that it? Were you lonely?"
    He picked up a rattle with his foot and shook it. He loves Tootsie's baby toys. But he still didn't say anything. So I tried some of his favorite words, the
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    really bad ones, the ones Mom calls thoroughly inappropriate. Turtle sat up, waiting. But Uncle Feather just yawned, like he was bored or tired. Either way, he had nothing to say.
    Hmmm ... I thought. Maybe he does have a sore throat. Maybe he has laryngitis.
    Half an hour later, when Sheila came in with Buzzy Senior, she said, "Did Muriel tell you about your bird, Fudge?"
    "What about my bird?"
    "He hasn't said a word since you left. I was up here yesterday and again this morning and he wouldn't speak at all."
    "He'll talk tonight," Fudge said.
    "I'd like to know how you can be so sure of that," I said.
    "I know my bird, Pete!" he said for the second time.
    "I hope you're right," Sheila said. Then she asked, "So how was Washington?"
    "You mean Fudgington?" Fudge said.
    Sheila shook her head in disgust. "Muriel ..." she said, "you have to do something about your youngest grandson. He thinks the world revolves around him."
    "The world revolves around the sun," Fudge said. "I learned that at the planetarium."
    She just shook her head again.
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    That night, while I was on my bed, reading, I heard Fudge talking to Uncle Feather. "Good night... sleep tight... don't let the monsters bite."
    And Uncle Feather answering. "Good night, sleep tight... bite... bite... bite ..."
    I went into Fudge's room to see Uncle Feather for myself but Fudge had already covered his cage. "Shush, Pete..." Fudge said. "He's sleeping now." Fudge was snuggled up with his bag of shredded money.
    The next day it was the same thing. Uncle Feather wouldn't talk to any of us. But Fudge said, "Don't worry. He'll talk tonight."
    Just as Fudge promised, that night I heard him talking to his bird. "Everybody's worried about you, Uncle Feather. But you're fine, aren't you? You're a fine birdy."
    "Fine birdy... just fine... birdy birdy."
    Fudge laughed.
    The next day when Uncle Feather still wouldn't talk to me or Mom or Dad, I asked Fudge, "How come he only talks to you?"
    "Because I'm his favorite."
    "Okay, let's say that's true. That still doesn't explain why he'll only talk at night."
    "Who can explain it, who can tell you why?"
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    Fudge sang. That's a line from a song Buzzy sings to Grandma.
    "Try," I told him.
    "Try what, Pete?"
    "Try and explain why Uncle Feather only talks at night."
    "I can't, Pete."
    "How long has it been since he's only talked at night?"
    "Since... since ..."
    I could tell he was stalling. "I'm listening," I told him.
    "I know you are, Pete!"
    "Well...?"
    "He only talks at night since Richie Potter was here for a play date."
    "What's Richie Potter got to do with it?"
    Fudge shrugged.
    "That's a pretty weird story, Fudge."
    "Weird stories happen,