answered.
“Thanks,” he said, obviously pleased with my answer.
He lifted his hands and pushed back his hair.
“Really good ,” I said, exiting quickly, shutting the door behind me.
I felt like I had barely escaped witho ut all my feelings and thoughts spilling out somehow; beyond my control.
Chapter 9
In early July , my parents let Pat and I know that we would be joining several families in Rio Del Mar in Santa Cruz for a week on the beach in August. Seven families to be exact. In various accommodations along the beach. My mom had told us we'd be staying with the Powers in a house right on the beach.
We had done several camping trips with the Powers. Our families got along well and we enjoyed similar things. Their girls were a little younger than Pat and I, but not much.
“I think you'll have fun, there'll be lots of kids coming, much of the usual group. The O’Conner’s included,” she finished, giving me a look.
I hadn’t confided my feelings to anyone about Mathew except Gayle, but my mom could tell I liked being around him. That Saturday we were due at Bobby’s house for dinner for the adults to finalize plans for the trip. The weather was warm, and I knew all the kids would be hanging outside. When we arrived, Mathew and Bobby were off riding bikes, and I settled in with the rest of the gang on the front lawn. Around dusk, Mathew and Bobby rode up. As they got off their bikes, I walked over to where they were.
“Hi , guys,” I said, excited to see them, “where have you been?”
They both looked at each other and snickered . I suddenly wished that I hadn’t left the group to greet them. I pushed my fingers into my jean pockets. I looked at Mathew; his lack of expression surprised me. I could tell this was different, different than the last time the three of us were together. Entirely different, from the night I had left Mathew’s room. I wasn’t sure what had happened. Maybe Bobby made it clear at his house I wasn’t to be included.
I thought Mathew and I had grown to be good friends . I felt foolish standing there, my stomach tightened into a knot. I glanced back to the circle of kids on the lawn wanting to retreat. I was mad at him and then mad at myself for caring.
“We’re going up to Bobby’s room ,” Mathew answered finally.
I looked back at the two of them, hearing his voice. They got off their bikes, walked them across the driveway, and leaned them up against the garage door. Mathew looked in my direction as they walked to the house. I kept a straight face and turned away from him in the direction of the group. I swallowed hard and could feel my mouth get hot and bitter. I walked back to the group on the grass and sat down.
“They can be jerks when the y're together,” Sara whispered to me.
Sara, small and petite, her strawberry blonde hair blowing in the breeze, looked at me with those big blue eyes that reminded me of Mathew’s.
“Don’t take it personally,” she said.
I could tell she knew I was hurt. I did take it personally, but I smiled anyway to try and hide it.
“No big deal, they wanted to be alone, I guess.”
I found myself trying to rationalize his behavior. Okay, so boys could be jerks, I knew that. So why did it feel like a big deal? I thought he was different, that’s why. I thought he wasn’t like the other boys, but he was. I listened to the other kids talk while my hurt turned to anger.
When dinner was ready , we had the option of taking our plates out in the backyard or to the family room; the adults were headed to the dining room where Bobby’s mom was filling wine glasses on the table. I hung back until Mathew and Bobby got their plates and headed to the backyard. Good, I'd eat in the family room ; it would be far enough away. I felt ignored by