Free Beyond the Edge by Elizabeth Lister Page B

anything else, although it did look peculiar that he was struggling to hold everything and I was walking casually along beside him. I gave several people a grin and a wink, just to dissipate some of the tension I was feeling.
    We had to stand in line of course, and I could tell some people were eyeing our purchases with lewd curiosity. There was one guy who looked like he wanted to come with us when we left. But he was about a hundred pounds overweight and wearing sweatpants and a ladies jacket, so I didn't invite him. James wouldn't have approved anyway.
    Sebastian dumped all our things on the counter when it was our turn. I think he just wanted to pay and get out of there at that point and I couldn't blame him.
    The clerk, who had been laughing and speaking pleasantly to the customers, took one look at our items and clammed the fuck up. She didn't look at us as she scanned the four enema kits, two packs of condoms, and two bottles of lube. It actually would have been less embarrassing if she'd asked us what our weekend plans were, and I could've made up some shit about a prank with our friends. But no such luck.
    “Would you like a bag?” she asked, finally looking at me and Sebastian. Her pupils widened and she blushed. Maybe she thought we were hot and was imagining all kinds of perverted things. At any rate when I said no, she looked down at the items and at poor Sebastian. She almost said something, didn't, finished ringing us up, and announced our total.
    As I was paying her, I heard a low voice from somewhere behind me say, “Dirty fags.”
    I paid the clerk, piled our items in Sebastian's arms, and dragged him out of there, before I was stupid enough to give the ignorant bigot a piece of my mind. I was tempted to shove one of our Fleet enemas up his stupid ass and make a run for it.
    Out in the parking lot, Sebastian tripped on his shoelace and everything went flying, including him. He landed on his knees in a puddle and our hard won purchases scattered around him, luckily on dry pavement.
    He almost started crying. I looked down at him, up at Heaven, down at him again, swore, and bent to help him up.
    “Are you okay?” I asked.
    He stood with my help and nodded. “I'm fine, I'm fine. You're not supposed to help me though, right?”
    I shrugged. We gathered up the scattered shopping and headed for my car. “Technically, I wasn't supposed to help you in the store. It didn't say anything about the parking lot.”
    He looked at me with raised eyebrows.
    “What James doesn't know won't hurt me.”
    “Thanks…”
    I opened the car door and we dumped all our stuff on the floor of the backseat. After the experience in the store I didn't give a rat’s ass who saw this stuff in my car.
    Our next stop, Wicked Wanda’s, would not be so terribly embarrassing. At least anyone who was shopping there was privy to their own secret proclivities and intentions, and the staff didn't make any judgments about what people bought.
    Sebastian was rather silent on the way there.
    “Are you sure you're okay, Sebastian?” I asked. His jeans were soaked and muddy from the knees down, his hands scraped and dirty.
    He sighed. “Yep. Just not used to this kind of thing, I guess. The physical stuff I can take. It's this mental game-playing that's hard.”
    “How do you feel, mentally, right now?”
    “Violated, humiliated, shamed, and beaten.”
    “Well, that is exactly how James wants you to feel. So, if you want, think of it like this. You are fulfilling his wish for you at this moment. That is all we should desire this weekend. To please him. You give yourself up to James for the next forty-eight hours and don't pay any attention to your own ego, even if it's writhing in humiliation and agony.”
    He looked at me with amazement. “Wow. That's a really good way of looking at it.”
    “It's the only way, really. Feel better?”
    “Yes. Much. Thanks.”
    “Don't worry. This part will be much more fun,” I said as I pulled into