Free A Solitary Heart by Amanda Carpenter Page B

herself.
    Real courage, or so it seemed to her, was what people like Matt
    possessed, for she knew that he had climbed far higher than was safe
    for a man of his size and weight, in full knowledge of what he risked.
    Yet he had made everything seem so easy, and not once spoken of
    what must have gone through his mind as he met her eyes in the tree
    and made his decision to act as he had. All his comments were of the
    fear he had felt for her sake, and the boy's, never his own.
    'I owe you my life,' she said, not fully comprehending until that
    moment the truth in her words.
    His head turned, a quick, startled movement. She was obscurely glad
    that he did not pass off her statement with a shrug and a flippant
    reply, for she was genuinely moved and the depth of her feelings
    could not be dismissed lightly.
    'That little kid owes you his,' Matt said, with a slow, crooked smile.
    'And the reckless, self-destructive boy I used to be owes the salvation
    of his to the memory of a wise girl who taught him the meaning of
    sanity, and quality of life. That's just how life is, Sian. That's the real
    message in your interlocking circles. You can't talk of owing
    anybody as if it were a debt to be paid. Our humanity binds us
    together with ties of decency, dedication and sometimes self-
    sacrifice. There isn't such a thing as a free spirit.'
    She looked away, confused and troubled by what he'd said. It showed
    in the frown that drew the slim wings of her dark brows together.
    'I'm not sure I agree with you,' she replied, and, though her gaze
    rested on the stereo across the room, what she saw in her mind's eye
    was the ghost of an abandoned, lonely little girl. 'My father's a free
    spirit who always does exactly as he pleases.'
    'Does he?' Matt asked, settling back to put one long arm with extreme
    care along her shoulders. He stretched out his muscular legs. 'I don't
    know much about him, except that he cuts a rather exotic figure in
    Joshua's eye. He's quite a gambler, isn't he?'
    'Yes,' she said drily, 'he's one of the best in the world. When I haven't
    been at boarding schools or university, I've been visiting him at
    whatever five-star hotel happens to be his home at the moment.'
    The hand from the muscular arm circling her very gently tucked a
    black strand of hair behind her hair, making the moment into a
    caress. 'You must have been a beautiful little girl,' he said. 'I can just
    see you in a pretty dress, with your hair curling down your back and
    those huge, melting green eyes. If I had a daughter like that, it would
    break my heart to send her away.'
    'Would it?' she asked, her throat aching. If Matt gave to his children
    the same profound gentleness that he had just now showed to her, he
    would be an excellent father. She almost found herself envying the
    woman who would become his wife.
    'Yes. I also know,' he continued after a pause, 'that if I were in a job
    or lifestyle that was unsafe or unsuitable for that precious little girl, I
    would send her away, to some place where she could grow up safe,
    and I would deny myself the selfish pleasure of letting her depend on
    me too much. I can't speak for your father, of course, but self-
    sacrifice comes in many different ways.'
    'Oh, you're right, of course,' she said with a sigh, as she leaned her
    tired, sore head back. The muscle behind her was very still. 'I know
    he does love me in his own fashion, and he did keep me with him as
    long as he possibly could. I certainly have never wanted materially
    for anything. I just want something better for my children, that's all.
    A real home where they can be happy, always knowing that they'll
    have some, place to come back to if they need it. Is that too much to
    ask?'
    'No,' he whispered, pulling her against his chest. 'That's not too much
    to ask.'
    The muscle relaxants were working, and the throbbing pain in her
    limbs was liquidly melting away. She yawned so widely her jaw
    cracked, and drowsily considered asserting her