Free Not Yet by Laura Ward Page B

they might choke. I couldn’t help but giggle quietly, just
watching the love and humor between the group. Landon sat next to
me and bumped his shoulder against mine. “Whatcha thinkin’, short
stuff?”
    I smiled at my nickname, now finding it adorable
instead of annoying, and pointed to the group. “They are so… happy.
The dad—I can’t stop watching him. He’s so loving, so into them. I…
I’ve never known anything like that.”
    Landon frowned and whispered to me, “Cause your dad
left? You never met him later on?”
    I shook my head slowly. “No. I’ve never met him once.
How could he love his family and then leave and never come back?
Ever. Not just leave us, but he never called, never wrote. It’s a
complete black hole. Landon, I’m twenty-one years old, and I have
absolutely no idea who my father is. It’s a total mind-fuck.”
    I looked back down at the water, speaking softly.
“That sure doesn’t seem like love.”
    “No. No, it doesn’t. But I’ll tell you. My dad has
never abandoned his armchair, let alone his family, and I’ve never
known love like that, either. He never played with me, never teased
me, never wrestled or even hugged me. I call him sir , I obey
him, and I play football to please him. Our relationship is as
empty as if he wasn’t really my father. He’s really more of a drill
instructor.”
    Landon looked deeply hurt as he spoke. I linked his
fingers with mine and squeezed. His eyebrows raised and he grinned.
I had a “no affection in public” rule. But some rules needed to be
broken.
    “Well, look at us. We are each a little bit broken by
our dads. Have you thought about what kind of father you want to be
some day?” I smiled at the kids in the pool as I waited for
Landon’s response. He rarely spoke about his family, but our
relationship grew deeper each day.
    And now he was trusting me with his heart.
    “Hell, yes. All the time. I want to be the kind of
father that adores his children. I want them to know they were
loved before I even held them. I want to show my father what being
a real dad looks like. I want him to see me with my kids and
finally get it. Really know how badly he screwed up… and what he
missed out on.” Landon’s voice cracked as he finished speaking.
This was something he had given much thought to.
    “You will. I believe that completely. You’ll be a
great dad one day.” I had no business saying that, but I had grown
to know who Landon really was, and I could see the kind of soul
that existed under that macho façade.
    “And I will settle for nothing less than love and
devotion from the future father of my kids. I want that.” I pointed
out the group in the pool. “For them and for me.”
    “You’ll get it, short stuff. I know you will. If you
don’t already know this about yourself, you’re pretty determined
when you want something.” I laughed and he helped me up from the
ledge to start shutting down the pool for the night.
     

     
    An hour later, his arms wrapped around me and he
rested his chin on my shoulder. “Smells fantastic. What’s for
dinner?”
    “Fajitas.” I turned my head around to catch his
expression and winked.
    “You know, I think you’re making me all this Mexican
food because you want your promised dessert. Is that what’s going
on here?” Landon began nibbling and sucking on my neck and I rested
my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes in bliss.
    “Umm… what was that? I can’t really focus right now.
But please keep doing exactly what you’re doing.”
    Landon laughed against my neck and broke away to set
the table.
    “Uh uh. No dessert for you until you eat a good
dinner. There are rules here, short stuff. You need to follow
them.” Landon carried the food to the table as I dished up the
fajita meat and vegetables in a big bowl.
    “Awww. Cute! It’ll be like this for me and Garrett.”
Evie had walked into the kitchen and smiled brightly as she watched
Landon and I prepare dinner and tease