Free Knowing Is Not Enough by Patricia Chatman, P Ann Chatman, A Chatman Chatman, Walker Chatman Page A

took in a couple of deep breaths and made a failed attempt at relaxing. “So, how are you?”
    “I’m doing good. I just had another article published in the
Journal of Poverty
.”
    I nodded. “I saw that, congratulations.” I pointed to a magazine cover framed on the wall. “I actually read that one.” He looked at me quizzically. I added, “In the lobby. I’ve been waiting for a minute. It gave me time to look at the reading material.”
    “No
People
magazine for you to look at?”
    I smiled. “No, smarty, there wasn’t a
People
magazine. If there was, I didn’t find it.”
    Sanford turned on his laptop and shifted through his mail. By accident or intentional, his grim exterior expelled a half-hearted smile. That’s all I needed to feel better about my decision to come. I took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’ve missed you, Sanford, and I wanted to apologize and explain why I got so angry.”
    “You don’t have to apologize. I already know why you got so angry.”
    I raised an eyebrow. “Oh, okay.”
    “Alex, I know you felt I betrayed you. I guess in someways I did, but I didn’t want to hurt you.”
    “But you
did
.”
    “Believe me—I’d never intended to. I told Jake he needed to talk to you. Obviously he didn’t, but Jake should have told you, not me. I know you don’t agree, but that’s how I felt. I still do.”
    “I understand, I just don’t agree. I didn’t expect Jake to be honest with me, but I did expect you to. Which says what you already know about us. I trusted you with my heart and more than I did him. So, yeah, you’re right, I did expect you to tell me even when he didn’t.”
    He sighed. “Exactly, how could I tell you something like that? I don’t care who it is. I don’t want to be responsible for breaking up someone else’s marriage—”
    “Sanford, I don’t mean to cut you off, but if you saw Jake out with someone else, my marriage was already over. All you would have been doing is getting me caught up on the game. That’s all I expected from you. I guess what I didn’t understand is why you wouldn’t do that for me. I would tell you if I saw your girl out with someone else.”
    Sanford shook his head. “First of all, you know I’m not seeing anybody. Second, you know I would’ve told you if I thought it was the right thing to do, but the truth is—and I hope you don’t get mad at me all over again—but I didn’t. You and I both know what happened the last time.”
    “This time would’ve been different. I guess that’s the difference between men and women.”
    Sanford leaned back in his chair, hunched his shoulders while resting his arms. “I just don’t see it that way, Alex. Not this time.”
    “I guess it’s old news now.” I wasn’t feeling a wholelot better. “So are you at least going to tell me who you were there with?
    “That’s a negative.”
    I released a deep sigh. “I’m not winning today.”
    “You’re winning—you’re always winning, you just don’t know it.”
    I crossed my legs, readjusted my body in the chair, trying desperately to hide my blush behind my hand. Sanford’s music could be heard faintly through his earplugs resting on his desk. I pointed to his iPod. “What are you listening to?”
    “It’s a song a good friend of mine turned me onto.”
    “Is this good friend me?”
    “Of course it’s you. When you called I thought about this one and plugged it in.”
    I pulled my iPod from my purse and waved it. “I listened to it in the gym.
    “Huh—” Sanford rocked in his chair. “How ironic.”
    “Yeah, I guess some things change.”
    “But others remain the same.”
    “So what do we do now, Sanford? Friends?”
    Sanford smiled and reached across the desk to take my hands. “Of course we’re friends. If nothing else, I will always be your friend.”
    “Good. So will you hang out with me and Tobey?” Sanford released my hands and leaned back in his chair. “Where you going? The usual