Free The Girl I Last Loved by Smita Kaushik Page A

much into it. Just then we spotted a guy giving a bouquet of roses to his girlfriend. The whole group moved on to their table and started persuading him to trade this cauliflower with roses.
    “Everyone gives roses – there is nothing unique in it. You should definitely go for expressing your love with this one,” Kasam and Priya chorused.
    By the time we left that restaurant, I was penniless, with loads of toys and a bunch of roses. The more I knew her the more I fell in love with her.
    “How can I go home like this?” I whispered in Kasam’s ear.
    “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of that,” Kasam assured.
    As the others left us, we rushed to a mall where I changed and she went into the cyber cafe. Her ultimate getaway. By the time I came back, she was still surfing.
    “Hey,” she said on seeing me.
    “Hey,” I replied.
    “You see this guy? He’s my Dad’s friend’s son… I think he’s kind of into me.”
    She showed me a small picture of the guy.
    “I sort of like him,” she added.
    I was mute.
    “How do you find him?” Yes! She was really asking me this.
    I looked at him. He was fair just like her. He had nice stylish hair, though not like her but complimenting hers. He had a nice face and a nice built. He looked like one of those Close-up ads model.
    However, I said, “He isn’t that good.”
    I don’t know why I said that. It sounded so stupid.
    “I mean he doesn’t look like someone who would be good by nature,” I tried correcting myself.
    “How can you say that by just looking at the picture?” Kasam smirked.
    I knew I sounded ridiculous but I was.
    I walked her home. Then took a rickshaw for home – no matter how late I was getting, I walked her home – I was so desperate to be with her that I forgot everything else. Even Dad’s warning. I reached home in fifteen minutes. My elder sister was sitting outside. I mouthed her asking if Dad was at home. She mouthed he wasn’t. I breathed in and casually entered the house and then my room.
    I sat there for hours, thinking about Kasam. Then about me… then about us… then about my family… then about studies… and then rolling back to her… I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. My mind was racing on everything I could think upon. She was never mine, yet she changed every bit of me. All her friends were now my friends. I even wear the clothes she likes. I walk the way she finds cool. All these things – the gifts, everything – it’s like her. Now I find pleasure in her methods – in her likes with her. How did all these happen… I don’t know?
    Do I like it? …I don’t know.
    Are we just friends? …I don’t know.
    Are we anything else? …I don’t know.
     
Dear Romeo,
He didn’t ask any questions;
Perhaps he just lost the feelings he had for me?
The more he came to know, maybe the less he liked me?
Some stories never end, but leave them dangling;
Those stories don’t move, but life moves on.
It was beautiful, but maybe not my love story…
    Love
    Juliet
     

 
     
     
    Chapter 10
     
     
     
     
     
    First time was due to Ved’s constant compulsion.
    Second and few more other times were by ‘the evenings I ran out of stuff to do’.
    Further there were the impatient wait till the evenings.
    A few more were about screwing up work so as to see her.
    “Ambition, success… they sort of go hand in hand,” Kasam spoke as she wrote ambition on the board.
    “By technical definition ‘ambition is the desire for personal achievement’. It provides the motivation and determination necessary to achieve a particular end or condition.”
    She faced everyone and spoke in a very soft tone.
    “But it’s up to you to decide that certain end or condition and more importantly, that certain end or condition is not same for everyone.”
    She looked at the crowd who was now exchanging confused glances.
    “Confusing? Okay… let’s switch on to examples, then it will be fun as well as easier.”
    She took a seat. I had never