help herself but give in, “I liked the idea of thorny things growing back stronger after they were cut down. I wanted to see for myself.” Her wistful sadness drapes her words in even more poetry.
“That was also the day I promised to keep you safe from your Mother, as long as you didn’t keep any secrets from me again.” The hint of reprimand is unnecessary, my voice is sufficiently chilled. She’s been keeping lots of secrets from me, but that ends today.
I was hoping for a crack in her ice at my words though, but she only calmly blinks, lips gently pressed closed; her silence a rebellion against all that I know she wants to say to me. “I’d suspected something before that, you know? I noticed the changing between your identities before then. And when I would touch…” this is always the trick of a conversation with the many sides of Gillian, how to differentiate between her personalities. I refuse to play her games though. The doctors said it was better to treat each one separately, but they didn’t really know Gillian. They had no real clue how to free her from her warped and trapped mind. “When I touched and I could see that it would hurt, even when I was gentle...”
She interrupts, “That wasn’t me . I think you know too well that I don’t hurt so easily.” Her lips bow up in a small smile, “I remember that just as you walked up behind me, I was startled and pricked my finger on the stem I was holding.” I return her smile slowly. I won’t let her see the rise in my anger at her challenges. “Your mouth was warm around my finger, sucking on the tiny drop of blood. You never told me if you liked it.” I lean forward to better emphasize my words over the plane’s vibration while keeping my voice low, but she tosses her hair to the side and looks away, continuing before I get a chance. “Of course, I now know all too well that you like the sight of blood, so I suppose it’s a moot point.”
My anger barely held back by a thread of my will, I try again to crack through her false front, “I remember thinking that you acted particularly peculiar on that day. When the thunder and lightning started, you pretended to be afraid, pressing yourself against me. And after the rain poured so quickly over us, it was you that suggested we make a run for the pool house.” Her brows arch, but she doesn’t turn her head to me. “ You wanted to be alone with me.”
Her head whips back, but she only presses her lips a little more tightly. “ You wanted me to follow you out there. And you wanted me to touch you. You wanted me to know about your mental state.”
“What I wanted is another moot point.” Her voice shook a little that time. A small crack. “It didn’t matter then and it certainly doesn’t matter now. Not to you anyway, Miles.”
“What matters to me is Gillian . It’s all that’s ever mattered to me.” My own voice shakes with the conviction of this.
She lowers her eyes and her hands cross as a wrap over her shoulders. Her voice is small, almost as sweet as my Gillian’s, but still deeper, huskier, “ I never mattered to you at all?”
I wait till her eyes raise to mine before answering in a quiet, steady voice, “No.”
She scoffs as a means to hide the tears she fights. But her hands relax into her lap and she smiles serenely at me. “Then you are a fool, Miles.” She laughs harshly, “You think that the girl you call Gillian will ever be what you want on her own?! You nearly killed her! You are a bigger fool than even your Father thought.”
My hands are on her throat before I feel myself lift off the chair. I see the bulging of her eyes and veins as I feel the squeezing of my fingers around her. Her hands claw at mine, but I am steel against flesh with no release.
I let go finally with the breath I held in disgust, shoving her against the leather backrest and shakily sitting down.
I force my limbs and back to relax into the seat as I watch her hands go to her
Sharon Kleve, Jennifer Conner, Danica Winters, Casey Dawes