Free Open Invitation? by Karen Kendall Page A

china was so thin and delicate he could almost see through it. The cup rattled in the saucer as he tried to lift it by the tiny gilt handle, dwarfed between his rough thumb and forefinger. He held the rim to his lips anddrank about a teaspoonful, since it surely couldn’t be proper to gulp from a work of art like this.
    The cup and saucer reminded him of Lilia; delicate, old-fashioned and lovely.
    Meanwhile she tugged at the wax paper wrapper on the breakfast taco and tried to avoid spilling the contents even though the tortilla was inevitably springing holes.
    If he looked half as ridiculous as she did, then they were quite the comedy show this morning.
    Lilia ate about half of the taco before wrapping it back up. He was glad to see some color had returned to her face.
    â€œThank you, Dan.” She dabbed at the corners of her mouth with a tissue that she’d put in her lap like a napkin. “That was very tasty.”
    He nodded and lifted the oversize thimble to his lips again in the hopes of putting an ounce more caffeine into his system. The tip of his index finger got stuck in the handle as he put it back into the saucer, and he had to shake it free. Meanwhile, the hot cup had burned his pinkie as he’d tried to support it. Damn the thing!
    â€œDan,” she said. “Don’t try to put your finger through the handle. Just hold it gently—you may use your third finger, too. And allow your fourth and fifth to spread outward like a fan. Your pinkie will extend in a little loop rather like the cup handle. None of your digits belong under the cup.”
    Digits? “I feel like a pansy,” he complained.
    â€œJust do it anyway.” Lilia got up and went to a closet on the far side of the room. She took a folding card table out of it and refused his help in setting it up. Then she pulled a white, lacy tablecloth from a chest of drawersin the corner and unfolded it onto the table. Another drawer yielded a bunch of dishes and silverware, which she placed precisely in two place settings.
    The crazy woman put three forks to the left of a large plate, two knives to the right of it, plus a big spoon and a weird little fork inside of it. Then at the top of the plate she added another spoon and another fork! Worse, she put a second little plate to the left of the big plate, and then four crystal glasses of varying shapes and sizes to the right of it. Dan blinked at the array. What in the hell did anyone do with all that, and more importantly, why?
    She beckoned him over and reluctantly he came face-to-face with it all.
    â€œAll right, Dan. Now do you want to take a guess—”
    â€œNo. Just tell me. The only thing I know is that you eat off of the plate.”
    Lil smiled at him. “Actually the only thing on this table that you won’t be eating from is the plate.”
    â€œHuh?”
    â€œThat large plate is known as a service plate. You’ll use everything but the service plate, which will either be removed as the first course is served, or the first course will be served on a dish which goes on top of it.”
    â€œSo it’s useless? They just put it there to screw you up? Make you look stupid?”
    She laughed. “Nobody’s trying to make anyone look stupid. It’s actually very simple. The general rule is to use each utensil, going from the outside of the plate toward the inside, as the courses are served.”
    â€œWhat about the fork and spoon at the top?”
    â€œThose are provided for dessert, and yet another spoon would be brought for coffee after dinner. Sometimes you won’t see the utensils at the top of the plate—it’s a little more continental in nature than the typical American place setting. If you don’t see them, then they’ll be provided for you as dessert is served.”
    â€œWhat’s the little munchkin fork for? The one inside the big spoon?”
    â€œIn this case, your first course is likely to