middle.
“I’m sorry if I upset you, babe. It’s not that I don’t think you can do it,” Sebastian said.
“Then why are you trying to make it sound like I have been deliberately putting the baby in danger?” I asked, still not turning to look at him.
He was silent a long time before he answered. “This whole time, you’ve had to take care of yourself, even though I was with you, I really . . . I wasn’t. You had to be strong for all three of us. Let me take some of that now; let me help.”
Now I did roll over on to my side, propping my head on my hand. “I don’t want to lose you Bastian. Four times now I’ve thought you were gone forever.” I ticked them off on my fingers. “When you told me you’d taken the Nevermore shot, when you went off with Jessica,”—he tried to interrupt me there but I rolled over him. “The water in the lagoon and now dealing with a cure that we aren’t entirely sure of. One that seemed determined to fry you from the inside out. I refuse to think about losing you anymore. It’s too hard on me, on my heart.”
He turned and stared down at me. “You won’t lose me.”
“I’ve fought for you Bastian. I’ve learned that I was stronger than I ever knew before. Don’t try to strip me of that because you feel like your manhood is threatened,” I said.
His jaw tightened and the muscle under it twitched. I’d hit the nail on the head and we both knew it.
“We all go together or we don’t go at all,” I said. “It’s safer that way. More weapons at hand, more eyes to scan for trouble.”
He couldn’t argue with that. Standing up, he kept his back to me. “Have we changed so much that you can’t even tell me you love me anymore?”
Emotion caught in my throat. “Don’t turn this into a game, Sebastian. We’ll both lose.”
He turned slowly and looked down at me, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I didn’t think we’d ever be here again, not together. And, I am making a complete ass of myself.”
Lips trembling, I smiled at him. “It’s one of things I love you about you.”
“That I make an ass of myself?” he asked, his eyebrows lifting. I nodded and bit down on a smile that was creeping out the edges of my lips.
Two steps and he was on the bed with me, his hands stroking my face, our foreheads pressed together. “Please Mara; forget everything I’ve said except this. I love you; I will do anything to keep you and the baby safe, to keep us a family.”
“That’s all I want, too,” I whispered.
His lips found mine, teasing a groan out of me, the soft whisper of a love thought lost. His hands worked me out of my clothes and his quickly followed. No matter what else went on in our lives, the fear and uncertainty ended when it came to the love we had for each other and the passion that sealed the bond between us.
13
It was decided that we would go together, with all the supplies we could muster in the backpacks. Nero couldn’t walk yet, so we made a sling out of an old sheet to wrap him in and then hung from Sebastian’s chest.
Everything else would have fit in the bottom of one pack if it hadn’t been for the blackberries.
“This isn’t much,” I said. The medicine cupboard went into the bottom of the pack and we’d harvested the last of the veggies from the garden. Blackberries were stuffed into plastic containers and filled the rest of the bag. A few bottles of water when into a second pack, then that bag, too, was filled with blackberries.
“It won’t take long to get across the straight,” Dan said. “A few hours at most.”
“What if there aren’t any boats with engines? Can we row across?” Sebastian asked. It was the same question hovering in my mind. There was no guarantee of a boat at all, never mind one with a running engine.
Dan let out a grunt and stuck a toothpick in his mouth. He’d had to convert once he finally gave up the cigar he’d chewed to near non-existence.
“I’ve got a boat down