Free I Love You to Death by Natalie Ward Page B

post-it stuck to the front. It’s from Luke. His band; Infinity they’re called, are playing tonight. This is the show he mentioned at his party last weekend. These are some of the people I met there. I guess he really is inviting me to come along. Apparently the cupcake is to sweeten the invitation. I take a bite, it’s delicious, god the man really can cook. My hand closes around the flyer and I put it in my pocket. As I walk out of the shop, Luke is still here for some reason and he watches me go but doesn’t say anything.
    I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
    When I get home I’m restless, agitated. I’m listening to music and I’m drinking beer, definitely a dangerous combination. I want to go out, but I know it’s a bad idea. I try to tell myself that we are not friends, we’re only work colleagues and what harm can come from me going? But I know I’m kidding myself. I know these mind games I play in my head are all bullshit too. Luke and I are not just work colleagues. We are not quite friends yet either, but there is definitely something there. I just don’t know if I can define exactly what that is.
    All I know is that I’m scared. Scared of him, of being around him and very scared of what could happen if I keep doing this.
    ∞
    When I arrived in Boston that first time to see Sam, I was really nervous. Nervous about what it meant, about seeing him again after that night we’d spent together and unsure about what exactly was going on between us now. I remember my heart was racing as I knocked on the door to his place, a little after four in the afternoon.
    Someone who was definitely not Sam answered it.
    "Can I help you?" this guy said.
    "Ah yeah, I’m after Sam?" I replied nervously.
    He nodded as if expecting me. "You’re Ash right? Yeah Sam should be on his way home from school, come on in."
    This made me feel a little better. At least this person knew who I was and I was expected.
    The apartment was pretty small and fairly crowded. It was obvious guys lived there too; it wasn’t the neatest of places.
    "I’m Simon," the guy said to me. "Can I get you a drink?"
    "Ash" I replied, although he already knew that. "And yeah thanks, that’d be great."
    He came back with a couple of beers and handed one to me. Technically I wasn’t old enough to be drinking, but I wasn’t about to let that stop me. I took it gratefully and drank a big mouthful.
    About four seconds later the door opened and Sam walked in. I nervously turned to look at him and when I saw the look on his face, all of my fears disappeared.
    "Hey Ash, you made it," he said, a huge smile on his face as he dumped his bag, came over and grabbed me, pulling me into a hug. My body melted against his and I was reminded of the day we spent wrapped in each other’s arms on my bed before he’d come back to Boston.
    "I did, thanks for the invite," I said against his shoulder.
    He pulled back to look at me, pressing a kiss to my lips. "It’s really good to see you again," he whispered, before kissing me some more.
    I half heard Simon groan and walk out of the room. I didn’t really care. I was just happy to be here with Sam. Relieved that he was so happy to see me and very happy about the kiss he was currently giving me. I wasn’t nervous at all anymore.
    ∞
    In the end I go.
    As I arrive at the club all I can hear is a god awful noise that appears to be some off-key combination of guitar, drums and vocals that’s being labelled as music. There’s nothing musical about it. I really hope this isn’t Luke’s band, because I surely can’t sit through this crap let alone pretend it’s actually any good. I take a chance and go in and it’s a relief to discover it’s not him.
    The club is almost full, which surprises me given the band that’s currently on stage. It’s also quite dark inside, which is good, the only lights being over the stage area, which spans almost the entire back wall. I head in the opposite direction and order