Free You Before Me by Lindsay Paige Page B

that's still
on my mind along with her body against mine. Twenty minutes pass in
silence before I finally say something about it.
    “Ryan?”
    “Yeah?” She says without opening her
eyes.
    “Tell me why you frowned.”
    Ryan sighs and turns her head to look
at me. “I was thinking about how when I stop trying to behave, stop
trying to be someone I'm not, it will count as me quitting because
I would be giving up. That it will be added to my long list of
failures.” Ryan sits up, moves forward, and then turns as she sits
across from me in the tub. “Do you know that I've thought about
changing my name? Countless times.”
    “Why?” I actually like her name. Sure,
I thought it was odd at first, but it grows on you.
    “My parents wanted a boy.
They got me, and I've heard about it every day of my life. That
name, my name, is
tied to me being what they never wanted. That's why it pissed me
off when you said it was a boy's name. Once I started college,
though, I mostly stopped thinking about it and decided to own up to
it.”
    Since she brought it up, I decide to
ask. “Why are your parents like that? Explain it to me. Why didn't
they have another kid if they wanted a boy that badly?”
    Ryan shakes her head. “Believe it or
not, I'm their miracle child. I'm the only one of my mother's
pregnancies that didn't end in miscarriage. That's why they didn't
have another kid and they stopped trying. Everything they've ever
wanted in a child rests on my shoulders now. They have empty hopes
for me though because they don't think I can do any of it.” Ryan
cups some of the bubbles in her hands and glances at me. “You
ruined my bath for me.”
    I take a moment to absorb what she
just said. No wonder she doesn't think she's meet-the-parents
material. Her own parents have made her feel like this. It's
terrible. This is why she keeps using words like disappointment and
failure. It makes sense now. Although, I'm sure there is more I'm
still missing. More that I want to find out, which doesn't mean
that I'm going to turn into a savior.
    “I'm sorry.” I move to lean towards
her. “C'mere. I'll make up for it.” All I want to do is make her
feel better before I leave. Ryan looks a little skeptical, so I
curve a finger under her chin and lead her to me. “Close your
eyes,” I softly order.
    Ryan does, the corners of her mouth
slightly moving up and down as she tries not to smile. For a
moment, I take in her features. She's beautiful. Without waiting
any longer, I gently press my lips to hers. They part, already
eager for more. I slip my tongue into her mouth to play with hers.
Ryan releases a quiet sigh into my mouth as her fingers grasp my
face. Her sigh is like a small billow of air that makes everything
tumble within me.
    I kiss her with unhurried passion, as
if the clock has stopped and we have all the time in the world. But
the water soon cools to bring back bits of my senses, and I pull
away from Ryan. The bubbles have all but disappeared to leave our
naked bodies almost completely visible. She hasn't opened her eyes
yet, and her lips are barely pursed. That look on her face right
now is one I will never tire of. Goosebumps dot her skin, her
nipples at attention. Those dark green eyes finally stare at me, a
smile rising on her lips.
    “Thanks,” she whispers.
    “Any time.”
    Her gaze glances downward at me and my
hard, aching body. It's probably time for me to leave, but all I
want to do is get off. I don't know what Ryan wants, though. I
don't think I should sleep with her again just yet. This needs to
be done right, and I need to resist the lure before I do something
I regret.
    “I, uh-” I stop to clear my throat. “I
need to get going.” My eyes immediately snap to Ryan's moving hands
underneath the water, coming towards me at a tortuously slow
pace.
    “Right now?” She questions.
    I'm wound up too tightly for her to
tease me today. Her hands land on my thighs, and I swallow hard,
waiting for her to do