twin-babies, I expect, said Ern. He was cracked on them, was our Sid. He used to go over to that caravan and pore over the pram hours on end. Hes dippy on babies.
Pip and Larry looked at Sid with surprise. He didnt seem at all the kind of boy to be dippy on babies.
Sid pointed down to the ground, where there were four different sets of pram-wheel marks.
There you are, you see - I said he wanted to tell you about them twins, said Ern. He used to stand by their pram and pick up all the rattles and things they dropped. I bet hes ready to howl now theyre gone. Hes a funny one, Sid is.
Ar, said Sid, in a strangled voice, and almost choked again.
Youre disgusting, said Ern. You and your toffee. Youve et a whole tin since yesterday. Ill tell Ma on you. You go and spit it out.
Sid wandered away, evidently giving up all hope of proper conversation. Pip heaved a sigh of relief. Sid and his toffee gave him a nightmare feeling.
Sid was proper upset this morning, when the twins went, said Perce, entering amicably into the conversation. He went over to joggle the pram like he does when their mother wants them to go to sleep - but she yelled at him and chased him away. That made the babies yell too, and there wasnt half a set-to.
What did she want to do that to our Sid for? said Ern, quite annoyed at any one yelling at his Sid. Hes been good to those smelly kids, hes wheeled their big pram up and down the field for hours.
Pip and Larry were getting tired of all this talk about Sid and the babies. Who cared anyway?
Ern - did you hear anything at all last night when Prince Bongawah was supposed to be kidnapped? asked Larry. Did Sid or Perce?
No. We none of us heard anything, said Ern, firmly. We all sleep like tops. Sid dont even wake if there is a thunderstorm bang over his head. The whole camp could have been kidnapped, and we wouldnt have known a thing. Good sleepers, the Goons are.
Well, that was that. There didnt seem to be anything at all to be got from Ern. How maddening to know some one living just across the hedge from the Prince, and to get nothing out of him at all!
You did see the prince, though, didnt you? said Larry.
Yes. I told you, said Ern. He was a funny little fellow with a cocky little face. He made faces.
Made faces? said Larry, in astonishment. What do you mean?
Well, whenever Sid or Perce or me peeped through the hedge, hed see us and make a face, said Ern. He may have been a Prince, but he hadnt been brought up proper. Brown as a gipsy, of course, proper foreign.
Browner than us? asked Pip.
Bout the same, said Ern.
Why did you say that he and Bets were as like as peas in a pod? asked Pip, suddenly remembering this extraordinary remark of Erns.
Ern blushed. Oh well, seemed as if brother and sister ought to look alike, he muttered, and busily kicked a stone along. Coo, I wonder what happened to his State Umbrella! You should have seen it, Pip. Somebody came to visit him, and one of them put up this enormous umbrella - all blue and gold it was - and carried it over him. He didnt half scowl.
Didnt he like it, then? asked Pip.
Well, every one laughed and yelled and shouted, said Ern. It looked a bit queer, you know.
Hallo, there! suddenly came Fattys voice over the hedge. Why did you wander off like that? You left me to do all the talking, Pip.
Thats why I went, said Pip. You like talking, Fatty, dont you?
Can we come through the hedge? called Daisys voice. Is there a place where we shant tear our clothes?
Ern gallantly held aside some prickly branches for the girls to squeeze through the hedge. Fatty followed. Nice cousin of yours, that fellow Ronald, Fatty said to Pip. We had quite a chat.
You must have done quite a lot of questioning of witnesses, then, said Pip, slyly, remembering
J.A. Konrath, Bernard Schaffer