Free Rock the Boat by Gia Riley Page A

up the first song anyway, laughing it off when Dom gave me the look. I never mess up, but when I do, it’s always because of a girl. He knew right away someone had me by the dick.
    After that mistake, we sounded better than we have in a while, probably because we took a much needed night off last night. Playing night after night in the same two places—the lounge and the theater, becomes monotonous. Even though we’re still traveling, it’s not the same as waking up in a different city, filing off a dirty bus, and getting recognized for all the hard work you put into your shows. But that was the chance I took when I gave up touring. Here, it’s easy to hide, and that’s exactly what I was looking for when I took this gig—a chance to breathe. A chance to get my head on straight.
    “You coming for drinks, East?” Dom asks, as he pulls his sweat covered shirt over his head on the way back to the room.
    “I did enough of that last night. My ass is going to bed.”
    He nods his head, understanding the boundaries I now had. After I lost Shay, he would drag me to the bar with him almost every night. I didn’t care because I was already drinking so much at home, I was too numb to care about the world around me. As long as I was breathing, I was fine. At least that’s what I kept telling myself. But when I got to the point of blacking out in order to fall asleep without Shay next to me, it was clear I wasn’t living—I was merely surviving. Had I kept up that pace instead of taking this job, I might be dead by now. That’s how fast I was spiraling.
    “We’ll be at the pub or up in the club if you change your mind.”
    Last night we ended up drinking more than we should have while discussing the future of the band. The guys have been supportive, giving me multiple contracts at sea to take however much time I need before I’m ready to be under the scrutiny of the public eye again. It still terrifies me to go back into that world, especially without the person who grounded me, but I can’t live on a ship for the rest of my life either. They deserve more—I deserve more.
    I won’t know if I can handle the real world until I’m back in it. And that’s a risk I’m cautious to take. By now, I thought I would have had some kind of awakening to know the time was right. Truth is, I’m no more ready now than I was when we got here. Time may heal all wounds, but mine are still pretty raw.
    I still see Shay when I close my eyes at night.
    I still wish she was alive.
    I still miss her.
    But I can’t stay selfish forever either. Accepting another six month contract would be fine, but like the alcohol, I’m using this ship as a crutch. I’m still surviving, but not really living.
    Spending time with Lark today was probably the closest I’ve come to living since I’ve been here. I feel it, but I don’t understand it. If my heart’s still with Shay, how can I suddenly be so enthralled by someone else?
    “Easton? Are you dressed?” Gina pops her head in my room, closing the door to the room she shares with Dom behind her.
    “Why’d you ask if you were going to barge in anyway?”
    “Oh shut up, I’ve seen your jewels before. Is Dominic in the pub for the night?”
    “Yeah, the usual.” She leans against the wall with her hands clasped in front of her. She’s never this quiet. “What’s up?”
    “Can we talk for a minute?”
    “What’s on your mind?” I ask her, as I grab a cold bottle of water out of the fridge, offering one to her before I drink it, but she shakes her head. She’s being weirder than usual, so I’d put money on this conversation being about Lark. She set me up and now she needs the details like a typical woman.
    “Nothing’s up. I thought you might be out drowning yourself in whiskey by now.”
    “Did that last night.”
    “Why not tonight? Do you have plans?”
    She folds her arms over her chest protectively, and I realize this visit is probably to make herself feel better for