Free Emergent (A Beta Novel) by Rachel Cohn Page A

you never really died.”
    The thought of my clone having the instant ability to perform the same dives I spent years in training to perfect is upsetting enough. The sudden image my brain produces of her performing dives
for Xander makes me
insane
. But the thought of her having my memories of Xander is like an off-the-charts intrusion into my mind, body, and soul. I’m so livid at this moment, I want to
strangle my clone and suction every breath from her body. I struggle for speech. “You have all my memories?”
    Elysia looks taken aback by my angry response, then clarifies. “The only memories I had of yours were visions of Alex. They were the only ones that broke through. It always happened when I
was in the water, swimming. In the way that I inherently understood how to swim and dive, I knew that I’d gotten it from you.” My face must still register shock. Perhaps she also
inherently understands I can’t handle this subject any longer, because she redirects the conversation. “What’s your best dive?”
    Keep cool, Z. Keep cool. Safe topic.
“Reverse three-and-a-half twist,” I lie. I never successfully made it past a reverse two. But I’d much rather talk dives with her
than the memories of Xander that she stole from me. Is that why she’s with him now? Because she knows that he and I were together once? That’s not even outrageous. It’s beyond
kinky. “What’s yours?” I fire back.
    “Backward two-and-a-half somersault with a half twist,” Elysia says. That’s my
real
best dive. “Alex says I shouldn’t dive anymore, in my current condition.
But perhaps we could go swimming together? I’d so much like to spend time with you in the place you love most. The water, I mean. I’d like to study your technique. You must be a great
swimmer. I’ve felt that about you when I’m in the water.”
    I cannot believe her insolence. She’s just asked me to help her steal something else that’s precious to me.
    “Because
you
are a great swimmer? You got that from
me
.” All the skills she was given took me years of practice to cultivate.
    “Thank you,” says Elysia with
sincerity
. Why does she make it so hard to hate her? She makes me wonder if I had hidden likeability traits I never knew about in my former,
friendless life in Cerulea. “Perhaps you’d like to know something about what I experienced when I swam on Demesne?” she asks, like I could somehow validate her existence by
wanting information about it.
    I don’t want to discuss stupid water sports with her. What I really need to know is so much bigger than swimming and dives.
    Why did you escape Demesne? Was your life there…happy? Who got you pregnant?
    How do I even begin such a conversation with someone I wish never existed?
    Elysia takes a gulp from her pink drink. “What are you drinking?” I ask her. I’ve never seen this concoction in the mess hall.
    “Watermelon juice,” she says. “Alex found some watermelons and pressed this juice for me. He says I need to stay hydrated.”
    Bile actually regurgitates up from my stomach and shoots into my mouth. Xander never made refreshments for me back at the Cerulea Aquatics Club. The best I ever got from him was when he’d
point to the water cooler during practice and say, “Drink up, Z.” I never got delivery of personally picked fruits followed by freshly squeezed juices from him.
    Elysia swallows the last sip of her drink and then delicately licks the sides of her mouth, which is exactly what I do when I take the last sip of a drink I’ve particularly enjoyed. To
savor the…“I love those last drops,” Elysia says. Exactly.
    I remember after Mom left, I used to long for a sister. A best friend, a kindred spirit, someone who was my blood, who could share the pain of our abandonment, but also share a special bond of
companionship. My sister and I would always be there for each other. Through thick and thin, as the saying goes. Friends and mothers might come and go,