Free Saviour by Lesley Jones Page A

hate to see you in any more pain”
    How does he do this to me? I convince myself he's one thing and he immediately proves me wrong, leaving me confused and liking him just a little bit more....
    I stand up, my head is spinning, my heart is pounding in my throat and my stomach is in knots, without really thinking too much about it first, I blurt out
    “Don’t go ... Please...don't go” I hold out my hand to him. “Please... Stay with me?” I almost beg, I almost cry.
    I’ve just invited a man I only met last night to stay with me, stay where, in Jo's bed? I am in no fit state for sex... Mentally or physically.... Well maybe I am ... Will he expect it?
    He pauses for what seems like minutes, just staring at me with those amazing blue eyes and I know that I've hurt his feelings... and I hate myself for it, Shit, what was that little outburst all about? He steps towards me and places his hands either side of my face and surprises me by kissing me so, so gently on the mouth, despite everything I have whirring round in my head, my response is instant and my hands go straight up into his hair at the back of his neck and I force his mouth harder on mine, forgetting for a moment my nicely split lip.
    “Owww” I moan ... He pulls swiftly away “Shit, sorry, sorry, did I hurt you?”
    “No, no it was me, it’s my fault, you was ...it was. Don’t stop”.... What am I saying?
    He looks at me, with eyes much gentler than I deserve. “Don’t be a bitch Lauren, it’s really not nice”
    “I know, I’m sorry, I don’t know what that was all about, sorry”
    He gives me a long kiss on my forehead and we stand for a few moments in silence, just holding onto each other.
     
    “Err Hmmmm” Jo clears her throat as Jemma says “Take it to the bedroom perlease you two”
    I turn and look at them, slurring
    “ Sorry for being a bitch, can he stay Jo please? We need to talk”
    Talk.... I can't string a bloody sentence together right now, let alone hold a conversation. I know I'm swaying slightly and feel quite unsteady on my feet, looking back at Gabe I ask “Will you stay?”
    He looks over at Jo,
    “Go, go... But remember we practice safe sex only in this house... I have condoms if you need them... All flavours....”
    We ignore her...
    I lead Gabriel by the hand or is he holding my hand, so as to hold me up? I’m not sure.... I stagger into the bedroom. He kisses me gently again and says
    “I think you need to drink some water and then, I would like you to tell me exactly what is going on... Get into bed, now”
    I attempt to take off the hoodie while Gabe gets me some water but I'm still struggling with it when he returns. He laughs and shakes his head at my efforts.
    “Stay still, let me help you”
    He pulls the top over my head. My vest rises up with it and I feel embarrassed as I know he's just got a glimpse of my forty five year old, wobbly belly ... Great! I giggle when I think about the state I must look.
    “ Glad you find yourself so amusing, you won’t be laughing later when your hangover kicks in….drink and drugs do not mix Lauren, they are dangerous, did your mother teach you nothing? Get into bed, before you fall over” He orders
    “No actually, my mother didn’t teach me much at all…nothing of any use anyway…what did your mum teach you?”
    “Even less than yours if you must know. Now drink this” He holds out the glass as I fall back on the bed.
    “ You’re so bossy Gabriel ....Angel Gabriel.... Are you an angel? I'll tell you what I think...I think you are really the devil... You are bad like the Devil”
    I giggle again... Yeah I know, like a schoolgirl I giggle!
    “ Oh you've seen nothing yet Lauren...now will you please just fucking drink this, then talk and tell me what is going on and what fucker did this to you?”
    He orders, so I pout…
    “Are you getting into bed with me?” I ask in my best whiney voice.
    “ Do you want me to?”
    “Well fuck yeah … Of course I do, it's