Free Clear as Day by Babette James Page B

sleep.
    Question was, would he be sleeping with Kay tonight, or on the Whisper by himself? He’d planned to move the Whisper around to her cove in the morning.
    A stifled yawn from Kay was his cue. He downed his beer and stood. He made his voice come as casually as he could. “Walk you back to camp? I’m majorly jet-lagged and need to crash.”
    He got some guffaws and heckling from their friends. He laughed and ribbed them right back. Just like old times.
    He held out his hand. Come on, let me go with you. Let me work this out .
    Kay set her hand in his, regarding him with uncertain eyes. “Yeah, it’s late.” She stood and waved to their friends, giving them a smile. “We’ll see you all in the morning. Sleep tight.”
    The conversation of the camp faded behind them as they hiked their way up the hill and along the trail to Kay’s camp.
    Stars powdered the dark sky above. Their footsteps on the dry, rocky ground crunched along, loud in the quiet above the faint lapping of the lake over gravel and sand below. Bats winged in dark blurs.
    He gave her hand a soft squeeze. She squeezed back.
    They reached the bottom of the trail into her camp. “Kay—” What he wanted to say crowded his head. Apology, plea, demand all snarled in his mind, clogged in his throat. Shit.
    She backed a step away. “Nate, honestly, I need space on this.”
    “Is it because I asked wrong? I fumbled that.”
    Great, now you sound even lamer .
    She sighed and looked away. “No, that’s not why. I never planned on ever marrying, anyone.”
    A chill, sick sinking plummeted through him. “I believe we can make it work.”
    “But I don’t know if I believe it.” She turned to him, her expression despairing and confused.
    His heart clenched. Was he dealing with far heavier stuff here than her merely having cold feet about their relationship? He’d never imagined…She’d never been married, so it couldn’t be mental shit from a bad marriage and divorce like JoAnn had gone through—
    Hell, could it be worse? His mind choked on worse. Assaulted? Abused? No, as a survivor of an abusive relationship, and very protective of Kay, JoAnn would have warned him if he’d been wandering into that territory. They’d never said anything more than a simple “be careful, don’t hurt her,” no different from the casual “be careful” conversation he’d had a few years ago with his now brother-in-law, Zeke. Right?
    Except Kay had pride and she never talked much, if ever, about deeply private things. So if some shit like that had happened, what if she didn’t tell anyone? Shit.
    How little he really knew about this woman he loved staggered him. Together, they’d always been so in sync, in bed and out. They’d talked so easily online over the years while apart. He was such a fool. Everything had been so easy. He’d never thought.
    For a moment, a blind rush of anger punched through him. He wasn’t much for using his fists, subscribing to the lover, not a fighter theory of life, but he’d happily beat the crap out of the asshole who’d hurt her and left her so damned skittish and sad.
    With no clue what else to do, he caught her hand and gathered her close. She tensed, but he just wrapped his arms loosely around her, enough to hold her where he needed her. A long knife-edged moment, and then with a nod, she slid her arms around his waist and rested her head against his shoulder.
    “I swear you can talk to me, Kay. No matter what the problem.” Please, let that be true. He stroked his hand over her hair, nuzzled her cheek, and brushed a kiss to her forehead. “Like always. Anything. Anytime. Talk to me.”
    She sighed and, little by little, with each breath, relaxed against him.
    So how did he go about convincing Kay, heck, coercing her, into admitting she loved him like he knew she did? Damn it, he knew she did. How did he dig out and fix what hurt her? Twelve days, he only had twelve days.
    And what the hell are you going to do if you